12.13 Halloween Haters, September 18, 2008, Volume 12, Issue 13, MauiTime

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY


CONTENTS

VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 13

4 MAUI COUNTY THIS WEEK’S QUESTION What keeps you up at night? Editor: Jacob Shafer Three words: Vice President Palin. Calendar Editor/Staff Writer: Kate Bradshaw Robot machine gun war (construction). Contributors: Jessica Armstrong, Caeriel Crestin, Lloyd Dangle, Rob Parsons, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey, Ynez Tongson. Illustration: Jeff Dekal, Ron Pitts Photography: Sean Michael Hower Art Director: Brittany Shaw Cats mating outside my window.

Restaurant-attending kids are defended in Letters. We weigh in on the eve of the primary with our election endorsements. Rob Report breaks down campaign contributions. LC Watch turns back the clock. Eh Brah! is miffed about bounce castles. Sexist laws need changing in News of the Weird. Coconut Wireless is not a fan of vog. A sugar company goes sour in The Business End.

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Jessica Armstrong examines the CRC’s efforts to shut down Halloween in Lahaina and the potential fallout.

18 ONO KINE GRINDS

Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers Night terrors.

Kate samples the vegan eats at Abundant ‘Aina. Spoiler alert: she likes them.

General Manager: Jennifer Russo My brain.

21 Take Five

Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown

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Graphic Designer: Travis Keenan Tiffin Ecstasy, Monsters, chorizo, Internet porn & bedwetting.

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Cole Smithey says the animated monster spoof Igor is scary good but not scary. MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2008 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly. Maui Time Weekly 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of the MauiTime Weekly

25 Movie Listings

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Kate harvests the cream of the entertainment crop, including a bawdy sketch comedy show and a Peace Fest.

28 Calendar 33 Grid

36 BACK PAGES 36 Classifieds 38 Sign Language 39 Mind, Body, Spirit ON THE COVER: Illustration by Jeff Dekal

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LETTERSTOTHEEDITOR A MINOR ANNOYANCE Re: The guy who complained about the kids in the restaurant [“Eh Brah!” September, 11]: It is truly unfortunate that he and his wife assumed that they would have an entire restaurant all to themselves for the whopping sum of $100. This apparently is what they came to expect for that princely sum of money. Big spenders! How unfortunate that a couple ventured out into the world with their children—also hoping to enjoy an evening with their family—and they upset your little utopia. I doubt seriously that the restaurant had a policy that excludes parents bringing their children out to dinner. Yes, children can be loud, unpredictable and disruptive. EH BRAH—THEY’RE KIDS! At some point you were too. And your parents had to deal with the same tantrums and outbursts that every parent must endure. Taking children out into adult settings is how you teach them to eventually be little adults in such situations. It is readily apparent that you have not yet procreated or ever intend to. If you haven’t yet, please don’t! You clearly don’t have the temperament for it. Finally, until Maui County bans children in all public places I would suggest saving your bucks and catering a nice meal in at your home. It will certainly cost more than the $100 you intended to spend, but you can have that nice evening of conversation with your wife. And the rest of us can feel safe knowing there’s one less moron out on the street. Mike Estes, Makawao

SCUM SCAM? If you look at current factory gate prices ($5-$10 per kg), algae are way too expensive for low price applications such as biofuels and CO2 mitigation [“Slime for change,” September 11]. The often-cited yield projections are pure fantasy. The reality is that ponds yield about the same amount of biomass as tropical agriculture. The difference is that sugarcane can be cut and pressed easily, while algae have to harvested by flotation, centrifugation, and drying. Good for the people who get a job for a while, good for the managers who pay themselves a nice salary and bonuses, bad for the investor. Put the funds in wind and solar. Jan van Beilen, submitted online at mauitime.com

HOLO AGAIN Hey thanks for writing this, nice to hear Sam is doing good [“You say goodbye, I say Holo,” September 11].

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

We miss her in the Maui underground music world; she was always a strong supporter of Khring, White Rose, Gomega and other bands that have moved or are no longer together. We still miss you girl. Kanoa of Gomega, submitted online at mauitime.com

FERRY IMPORTANT Rally the troops, sound the alarm, Friday, September 19, 12-4pm Superferry taskforce meeting at the staging area; if you care about Maui resources, make every effort to attend! The problem thus far has not been the Superferry, it is the PEOPLE who come to Maui to over harvest natural resources, it is the people who are upsetting the ecological balance, causing Maui resources to deplete as they have already depleted on Oahu. Maui DOCARE is doing its best to cite illegal transporters and record the poundage of fish, opihi, limu, etc. being transported with every trip and this crucial information gathering is scheduled to end in December. We need stricter controls to keep Maui resources from being over harvested. We live on an island and as Oahu has shown there are realistic limits to what can be harvested. Ka’aina Kealoha, Kahului

WHO HAS A PLAN? Politics is kind of interesting, I think it would be a lot better without all the mudslinging. If we could put the focus on the issues instead of the personal attacks I think then we could really move forward as a nation. What are the stances on the issues? Who has a plan for solutions? This is more important to me than who is Muslim or who’s daughter is pregnant or even who has more DUIs than everyone else. A lot of people have already made up their minds about who they are voting for for President, but ask people around Maui who they are voting for for local elections and the majority of the crowd doesn’t even know who the candidates are! The next president will definitely have a big impact on America, but the next county council will have a huge impact on Maui. Manuel Ignacio, Kihei

SEND YOUR LETTERS to the editor via e-mail (letters@mauitime.com), post (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793) or fax (808-244-0446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number. We reserve the right to edit letters. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Maui Time Weekly.


Primary election endorsements COUNTY COUNCIL Lanai For such a tiny island, Lanai has a crowded field of candidates. The good news is they all seem to be qualified and well meaning. There’s not really a bad choice here, but one candidate stands out. Sol Kaho‘ohalahala has previously served as a County Councilmember and a state Representative and more recently as executive director of the state Kaho‘olawe Island Reserve Commission. His experience, combined with a solid record on the environment and other important issues, earns him our nod. Maui Time Weekly endorses Sol Kaho‘ohalahala

to say “no” to some very bad ideas. On the other hand, Couch brings a fresh perspective; he has said the right things about fostering cooperation and appears to balance a pro-business stance with genuine concern for the environment. Construction consultant Norman Vares is also running for this seat. He’s well versed on certain issues and wouldn’t be a bad choice, but we feel the other two candidates bring a bit more to the table. We’re splitting our endorsement between Couch and Nisiki for the primary and inviting both, if they make it through to the general election, to come in for a live Maui Time-moderated debate. Maui Time Weekly endorses Don Couch and Wayne Nishiki

West Maui Incumbent Jo Anne Johnson doesn’t seem to be facing much serious competition. She’s stood up to developers when it counted and earned the respect and admiration of her constituents (and Maui Time readers, who voted her “Best County Official” in July’s Best of Maui issue). She’s got our support. Maui Time Weekly endorses Jo Anne Johnson

South Maui Two candidates stand out here: Longtime public servant Wayne Nishiki—who has the support of the incumbent, Michelle Anderson, who decided not to run for personal reasons—and former Deputy Planning Director Don Couch. We like Nishiki’s experience and the fact that during his long career he’s established himself as an independent thinker who sticks to his guns and has had the courage

STATE HOUSE District 8 This election is about change, and not just at the national level. Locally, we have fresh candidates trying to unseat established politicians whose time in office has revealed some less-thanadmirable qualities. Longtime state Representative Joe Souki notably came down on the wrong side of the Superferry mess. He also gets most of his campaign cash from business entities and PACs outside his district. Tasha Kama, a community activist and Pastor of the Christian Ministry Church with deep roots in the community, looks like an excellent alternative. Maui Time Weekly endorses Tasha Kama

District 11 In his first term in office Joe Bertram III made some missteps, perhaps none greater than getting behind Wailea 670 and going so far as to write an opinion piece expressing his support in The Maui News. His opponent, Michael Gingerich, is young and enthusiastic and trumpets

the right causes, but he raised an ethical red flag by failing to obtain a general excise tax license for his fitness business. There are things about both candidates we like, and things that give us pause. We’re supporting Bertram with the hope that after getting his feet wet in his first term he can grow into the office. Maui Time Weekly endorses Joe Bertram III

District 12 Much like the District 8 race, this one pits youthful exuberance against longtime service. And much like Souki, incumbent Kyle Yamashita has made a number of decisions that seem at odds with the needs and desires of his constituents, including squashing SB 1789, a bill designed to protect community access stations like Akaku that got unanimous approval in the Senate and was widely popular on Maui. Also like Souki, Yamashita’s spending report reveals most of his big campaign contributions come from outside his district. Starr is

young, but we feel she has the qualities necessary to become an effective and dynamic public servant. Maui Time Weekly endorses Summer Starr

STATE SENATE District 5 Roz Baker is seeking her third term in the Senate. We haven’t agreed with her on every issue but her record overall is solid; she’s already earned the support and endorsement of the Sierra Club, the Ohana Coalition and numerous other organizat i o n s . Furthermore, Baker’s opponent, realtor Bart Mulvihill (who Maui Time readers may know best as the “No Baloney” guy) has not mounted an effective enough challenge to warrant a changing of the guard. Maui Time Weekly endorses Roz Baker

WANT TO HEAR MORE? Go to www.mauitime.com for election podcasts.

MAUI VOTES ‘08

VOTE! The primar y election is September 20TH. Visit hawaii.gov/elections or call 800/442-VOTE for info.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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ROBREPORT

BY ROB PARSONS ROBPARSONS@EARTHLINK.NET

Follow the money

Same as it ever was

Campaign spending reports reveal candidate ties n the eve of Maui’s Primary Election, most registered voters have a pretty good idea who they will choose at the polls on Saturday. Those choices may be based upon familiarity, past performance records of incumbents, stances on key issues, how effective a candidate’s campaign has been, or even more trivial reasons such as one’s ethnic background, age or the colors of their campaign signs. For the most discerning voters, however, reviewing campaign donations can uncover key indications of how a candidate may later respond to development requests from landowners, developers, union representatives or other influential campaign donors. While there may be no crystal clear correlation from one to the other, the Hawaii Campaign Spending Commission understands that transparency of the process is important enough to require reports to be submitted 10 days before this Saturday’s Primary, and again before the General Election on November 4. Back in 2002, voters rejected a re-

O

Clichés, tiresome as they may be, are born for a reason. People generally don’t beat a phrase into the ground unless it’s endowed with a hefty dose of insight. Like this one: The more things change, the more they stay the same. Exactly one year ago today (OK, 363 days if you want to get technical) LC Watch reported on a Liquor Commission hearing that centered on the conundrum of ejecting drunks from bars. According to the rules governing the LC, it’s not enough merely to stop serving intoxicated patrons; they must immediately be booted to the curb.

Money can’t buy you love, but political influence is another matter.

District 12 (Upcountry) challenger Summer Starr raised a question about incumbent Rep. Kyle Yamashita’s contri-

the $3,500 given by her husband and Radcliffe, constitutes “bundling”, or exceeding the $2,000 limit set for dona-

A close examination of campaign contributions may provide the piece of the puzzle that helps reveal the entire picture. election bid by Mayor James “Kimo” Apana after learning that a vast majority of his three-quarter of a million dollar campaign war chest came from off-island donations, mainly from Oahu. Apana tried to regain his mayoral seat in 2006, but fell short and finished third in a field of nine. An examination of campaign spending reports by this year’s candidates reveals far more modest contributions, more reflective of County Council and state legislative political budgets. Or perhaps the downturn of the local and national economy may be limiting individual donations. Nevertheless, a few clear distinctions can be drawn in key primary election races.

L

ast month at the Kula Community Association’s Candidates Forum, House

LC Watch

butions. Of 48 donations made in the first half of 2008 to his campaign fund, not one of Yamashita’s donors listed an address within his district. At that time he reported an aggregate income of $10,556.88, with large donations coming from the Hawaii Operating Engineers ($2,000), United Brotherhood of Carpenters ($1,750) and professional lobbyists G.A. “Red” Morris and an associate, John Radcliffe ($2,500 total). Morris, also listed as a contributor in the report filed on September 10, 2008, is one of Hawaii’s leading lobbyists, representing 32 listed entities including Monsanto, Hawaii Superferry, WalMart, A.I.G., Eli Lilly and Phillip Morris. The most recent filing also shows a $2,000 contribution from Gail Morris of Kaneohe, who is married to Morris. While she lists her occupation as “housewife” it gives rise to the question of whether her donation, combined with

tions to an individual campaign for a State House candidate. Yamashita’s latest report shows 69 donors, yet only six contributors list an address within his Upcountry district. see MONEY, page 8

At the ’07 meeting, thenCommissioner Ron McOmber lamented the fact that bars couldn’t keep customers around to sober them up with coffee before sending them out into the night, where, if still loaded, they were more likely to start a fight or drive drunk. “This is a major problem,” he said. A turn of the calendar hasn’t changed the validity or pertinence of McOmber’s comments. In fact, over the last few weeks, we’ve had three different booze-selling proprietors contact us to complain off the record about being forced to push out sloshed individuals who they knew would be a greater danger to the public outside the bar than inside. This isn’t really news, of course. Even infrequent social drinkers can tell you it’s not the tipsy guy by the pool table you’ve got to worry about; it’s the belligerent dude in the parking lot. Hopefully in another year, we’ll be able to tell you about how this whole thing’s been sorted out and how the rules have been changed in the interest of pragmatism and common sense. But, you know, don’t hold your breath.

—Jacob Shafer

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

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ROBREPORT Among those who gave a combined $17,694.87 more to his campaign are the Hawaii Association of Realtors ($2,000), Monsanto ($1,000), Lynn McCrory of Princeville, manager of Pahio Resort ($1,000), Maui Land & Pineapple ($1,000), Hawaii Streetbikers PAC ($950), ILWU ($750) and Dowling Company ($350). By comparison, 35 of 62 contributors to Summer Starr’s campaign are residents of the Upcountry District 12. Her campaign contribution report has the flavor of a family affair, with donations from her mother, father, brother, sister and aunt. She received $2,000 and an endorsement from the Patsy Mink Political Action Committee (PAC). Starr raised slightly more than Yamashita, $17,806.72 in the most recent reporting period, as they head towards their Democratic party showdown in Saturday’s primary. Other notable contributions to her campaign include $1,000 from Pardee Erdman of Ulupalakua and

$2,000 each from Michael Honack of Kihei and Marc Turtletaub and Maureen Curran of Makena. That South Maui trio also contributed $2,000 each to the campaigns of Natalie “Tasha” Kama, and Sol Kaho`ohalahala. An Internet search for Turtletaub indicates he’s a film producer, with the 2006 hit Little Miss Sunshine to his credit, among others. Kama, hoping to represent the House District 8 (Wailuku, Waikapu, Waihee), also is a recipient of the Patsy Mink PAC endorsement and $2,000 contribution. Of $16,259 received this year, Roderick Fong of Wailuku gave $1,000, as did Frank Zajac of Haiku. Kama also listed $2,000 each from John and Leontine Elder of Makawao and $114 from a Calabash neighborhood meeting at the Wailuku Community Center. Incumbent Rep. Joe Souki filed reports indicating $26,550 raised in 2008, with $2,000 coming from tobacco giant Reynolds American in North Carolina. Souki’s campaign received support from the Plumbers & Pipefitters PAC ($2,000), Hawaii Association of Realtors PAC ($2,000), Streetbikers Hawaii United PAC, lobbyists Morris and Radcliffe ($3,500 combined), Island Insurance

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Employees PAC ($1,000), A&B HIPAC ($800), retired First Hawaiian Bank CEO Walter Dods, Jr. ($500), Dale Hahn of Norwegian Cruise Lines ($250) and Everett Dowling ($250). Of 71 overall donations, only two came from addresses within his district. est Maui County Council incumbent JoAnne Johnson is known for running an austere campaign, and reported only $2,000 each contributed by Curran and Turtletaub. Challenger Alan Fukuyama filed a short form, indicating $1,100 in funds received. The Friends of Cheyne Marten Committee did not file a campaign contribution report. Council veteran Wayne Nishiki, seeking his old South Maui residency seat after Michelle Anderson announced she’d be moving to California for family reasons, also has no report on file. [Note: Should a candidate plan to raise and spend less than $1,000, there is no requirement to file a report.] In the past, Nishiki has mailed back contributions to those seeking to support him, in particular landowners who may later seek development requests.

W

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He also declined to meet privately with those seeking project approval, stating that discussions should take place in public, in the Council Chambers where the community can also participate. It remains to be seen if Nishiki, whose last term on Council was in 2000-2001, will reach new voters with his laid-back campaigning style, or if name recognition and past experience alone will be sufficient. Challenger Don Couch, former assistant to Mayor Alan Arakawa and State Senate candidate, reported $18,091.76 raised in 2008. Most notable is $2,000 received from Charles Jencks, representative for the Honua`ula/ Wailea 670 development. Couch also listed support from CPA Mimi Hu ($2,000), Maui Land & Pineapple PAC ($1,000), ILWU Local 142 ($1,000, and their endorsement), United Brotherhood of Carpenters & Joiners ($1,000), Spencer Homes ($1,000), T&S Building Consultants ($500) and realtor William Gresham ($250). Norman Vares, also vying for the South Maui Council seat, reported income of $4,699.89 to his campaign. Except for $2,000 contributed by Local 675 Plumbers union, $1,000 by

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ROBREPORT Nakama Plumbing and one donor who gave $185, the remainder was attributed to Vares himself and his son Troy. Five candidates are running for the Lanai Council seat, which is being vacated as Council Chair Riki Hokama is finishing the last of his five two-year stints, reaching his term limit. Former Lanai Council member Sol Kaho`ohalahala has raised the most campaign funds, with $11,000. Alberta de Jetley reported $3,750, with all but two donors being Lanai residents. John Ornellas listed six donations totaling $2,850, though none came from his home island. Matthew Mano’s contributions were reported to be $2,720, topped by $2,000 given by the United Public Workers PAC. Winifred Basques did not file a campaign contribution report. Senator Roz Baker (5 th Senate District, South and West Maui) filed reports indicating $58,994 received during 2008 for her reelection campaign. Lahaina realtor Bart Mulvhill, who faces Baker in the Democratic Primary, failed to submit a report.

BY ROB PARSONS ROBPARSONS@EARTHLINK.NET

awaii’s Campaign Spending Commission has provisions for matching funds to candidates who acquire a certain number of smaller donations. For example, should a County Council hopeful garner at least fifty donations of no more than $100, they qualify for state funds equal to the amount given by individual donors. For a grassroots candidate not seeking support of traditional power brokers, this provides a viable opportunity to run a campaign on a level playing field with those accepting funds from larger contributors. Of the races examined for the Primary Election, however, no one chose to pursue state matching funds. While many voters look for a candidate whose stated position on key issues mirrors their own, campaign funding may reveal a bit more about a candidate’s overall support base. For discerning voters, close examination of campaign contributions may provide the piece of the puzzle that helps reveal the entire picture about those aspiring to serve the Maui community in elected office. MTW

H

Campaign Spending Commission Web site: https://nc.csc.hawaii.gov/cfspublic/

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EH BRAH!

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com This goes out to the family who was celebrating their 3-year-old’s birthday. I arrived at Wahikuli beach park very early to reserve my spot for my daughter’s 9th birthday. All was set up and here you come and plant yourself next to my table. Your lack of tact and consideration is unbelievable. You could afford a jumping castle with that very loud generator that you placed right next to my table, of course forcing me out; maybe you can also afford some classes on social skills. More consideration please!


NEWSOFTHEWEIRD

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD CHUCK@MAUITIME.COM

LEGAL MISOGYNY

NOT A FUNGI

Italian and U.K. legal authorities have recently discarded rule interpretations based on embarrassingly anachronistic stereotypes of women. In July, Italy’s Court of Cassation reversed a 1999 ruling creating a legal presumption that a woman wearing tight jeans could not be the victim of rape because such jeans would be impossible to remove without her assistance. Coincidentally, at about the same time, the British government formally removed the special, ameliorating defense of “provocation” for husbands charged with murdering their wives, thus putting domestic homicide on the same footing as other homicides. (Some husbands had received lesser penalties by claiming that their wives’ affairs had provoked them to murder.)

About 10 years ago, reported LA Weekly in July, Southern California was awash with hysteria over household “toxic mold,” in which lawyers convinced jurors that a wide range of illnesses was caused by fungi that previously had been minor irritants controlled by ordinary cleansers. (Centers for Disease Control maintains there is no basis for such hysteria and that the only at-risk people are a tiny number vulnerable to specific fungi.) Among the mold alarmists then was announcer Ed McMahon, who famously received a multimillion-dollar settlement by claiming that mold killed his beloved dog. Recently, McMahon even more famously publicly lamented his potential bankruptcy, in large part because no one wanted to buy his house (although the reason now seems more the mortgage credit crisis than the home’s alleged toxicity).

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IMPLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY Jonathan Williams, 33, was convicted of cocaine possession in England’s Guildford Crown Court in July, as jurors rejected his explanation that the pants he had on (containing the cocaine) were not his. That explanation also failed in August in Naples, Fla., for Richard Obdyke, 19, when police found a stolen debit card in his pants. (In both cases, the men said they had no idea whose pants they were wearing.) And in August in Corpus Christi, Texas, a 25-year-old man was arrested for drug possession during a traffic stop, despite his volunteering to police that “It’s not my truck,” and “If you find something (searching it), it’s not mine,” and “If there’s anything in that black bag, it’s not mine.”

FAKING IT Gill Switalski, 51, filed a lawsuit in London, seeking the equivalent of almost $40 million for her dismissal from the Foreign and Colonial investment firm, claiming she was fired illegally during an illness. However, F and C asserted in June that it found an instance during a particularly sickly spell for Switalski when she interviewed for a job at a competitor while demonstrating enough energy and drive to have received an offer of employment. Switalski said she was merely using an “alternative personality” during that interview.

KARMA STINKS According to police in Bethlehem, Pa., four kids (ages 9 to 14) grabbed a donation box in August at RiverPlace park (contributions to an organization that maintains the park’s portable toilets) and ran for nearby woods, with several police officers in pursuit. Three boys were caught, but the other made it a little ways into the woods before falling into a manure pit built by homeless people at their encampment.

A HAIRY ORDEAL Kevin Hansen filed a lawsuit in West Bend, Wis., in August, claiming that spotting a clump of hair in a steak he sliced into from a Texas Roadhouse restaurant caused “severe and permanent injuries,” pain, suffering and “disability,” requiring “extensive medical treatment.” In fact, said his lawyer Ryan Hetzel to Milwaukee’s Journal Sentinel, “It’s bothered the heck out of him.” (The employee who prepared the steak was fired and later pleaded guilty to a felony, explaining that he was trying to retaliate because Hansen complained about a previous order.)

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LOWERING THE BAR After failing the West Virginia Bar Exam for the second time (during which he was given an extra day to complete it), Shannon Kelly filed a lawsuit in July demanding even more concessions based on his unspecified cognitive disability. The second failure was also on a special version of the exam in large type, and Kelly had been permitted to work in a room by himself. He now believes he can earn his license if he is allowed four days instead of the normal two, to make up for (according to his lawyer) “severe deficits in processing speed, cognitive fluency and rapid naming” (though it is not clear how many attorney jobs are available for someone with such a skills set).

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WOW…JUST, WOW In July, Port St. Lucie, Fla., police stopped Timothy Placko in his car on a wooded road and discovered inside a blond wig, rope, binoculars, a small machete, knives, gloves, two bullet casings and a film canister that contained 18 human teeth. Also on the seat was a stack of women’s sonograms that Placko said he had downloaded from the Internet. He originally told police that he had pulled off the road to call (improbably) a “girlfriend,” but then admitted he was not calling anyone. He was charged with carrying a concealed weapon. MTW

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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MAUICOUNTY

BY JACOB SHAFER JACOB@MAUITIME.COM

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 11

COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

Score one for the NIMBYs. Last week we told you about Peter Martin, the Maui developer who wanted to set up a kind of low-income campground catering to the homeless in Spreckelsville. Not so fast, said a coalition of fretful neighbors who found a way to legally stall the project and force the Planning Commission to effectively kill it. Maui Time staffer Kate Bradshaw was in attendance at the fateful gathering where numerous residents spoke out about the potential evils of the campground, expressing fears that it could become a magnet for crime and shady activity. Those concerns are not unfounded, even if they’re based in stereotypes and unfair generalizations (in this economic climate, who but the filthy rich are immune to the possibility of losing job and home?). But the bigger point is, if you support these kinds of efforts in theory—which many at the meeting said they do even as they fought to stop it—you must admit they have to go somewhere. Where? The answer is usually: in a neighborhood where people are too poor and powerless to make a stink. Same old song, I suppose, but I sure am getting sick of hearing it… In other news: The world didn’t end and I feel fine. Scientists in Switzerland today fired up the Large Hadron Collider, a massive particle accelerator that could provide clues about the origin of mass and other cool stuff. Prior to the machine’s maiden run, a vocal minority had been warning that the Collider could create a black hole that would swallow the Earth and all life on it or something to that effect. But…looks like we’re good for now.

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FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 12 “Change” has become such a ubiquitous buzzword this election cycle—used by everyone from Tasha Kama to Barack Obama; hey, that rhymed—that its other meanings and uses have almost gotten lost. Here’s what I mean: I drove by a sign in Kahului advertising a discounted tire change and I completely didn’t even see the first two words and found myself looking around for a smiling politician. Scary.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 13 I knew there had to be a catch. Gorgeous scenery, friendly people, a warm welcoming ocean, fresh pineapple everywhere you turn—and now this hacking vog cough. Wailuku looks and feels like downtown Los Angeles (OK, maybe I’m being a tad dramatic). People tell me the trade winds will blow in soon and return the air to its prior pristine state, but for now I’m staying inside.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 14 Two things about Hurricane Ike: First, we need to stop naming Hurricanes. Or at least give them all really menacing names like Bogdanovich the Terrible or Large Hadron Collider or Dick Cheney. Losing your home and all your worldly possessions to something named Ike has gotta feel like insult to injury. Second, isn’t there a real undercurrent of thinly veiled classism to all this talk about the stupidity of the people who ignored the

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Photo by: Image Editor

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10

The date above this entry almost mandates that I make some kind of comment about 9/11. But which 9/11? The day seven years ago when a terrible act of violence was perpetrated and many people died? Or the idea of 9/11, the hot-button talking point that’s often cynically trotted out as a debate changer in different ways by folks on both ends of the political spectrum (though generally more overtly, skillfully and wickedly by the neo-conservatives). In a practical sense, in less than a decade, 9/11 has already become a myth; a canonized, one-dimensional code word used to justify everything from misguided foreign wars to domestic spying to, well, just about any potentially unpopular policy that needs a good red, white and blue shot in the arm. (I’m sort of cribbing from MSNBC talking head Keith Olbermann here; to see his frothingly eloquent take on things do a quick YouTube search.) At any rate, this is my first 9/11 (the actual day) on Maui and overall, after speaking with people and seeing the subtle ways the anniversary was acknowledged, I’m (even more) glad to be here. Maybe it’s being an ocean away; maybe it’s all the sun and surf and good vibes. Either way, locals seem to get that this day warrants solemn remembrance, sure, but also a little honest perspective.

If I were afraid of machines, this one would scare the shit out of me. evacuation orders? Yes, it would be wise to heed the warnings and get out of Dodge before a massive windstorm whisks you off to Oz (or was that a tornado?). But that’s a lot easier to do when you’ve got financial security and maybe a second home to go to. If your little two-bedroom, one-bath in Galveston, Texas is the only thing separating you from life on the streets, I get why you might think twice. But hey, if Ike does destroy your domicile you can always come to Maui and stay in our lowincome campground! Wait...never mind.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 15 Here’s one of those weird coincidental things: The Maui News reports that 808 people ran the Maui Marathon this year. I wonder if organizers realized that fact at the time, and if so whether they would have turned away a last minute entrant to keep the cool convergence in place. To paraphrase the late great George Carlin, those are the kind of thoughts that kept me out of the really good schools… In other news: I like the trade winds and so does my respiratory system. And so, I’d imagine, do the Maui Marathoners.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 16 We’ve updated you a couple of times in this space about the electronic voting system Hawaii’s going to use in the upcoming primary and November general election; in case you missed it, the technology comes courtesy of Hart InterCivic, a company that’s been accused in the past by a whistleblower of misleading the government about the reliability and accuracy of its machines. Looks like folks are taking notice, and officials are scrambling to assure everyone that everything’s hunky dory. Last month, a group of Maui residents including attorney Lance Collins tried to get a circuit court judge to prevent vote tallies from being transmitted via phone line, where they could theoretically be changed or tampered with. The judge denied that request but a lawsuit is pending. Quoted in the Honolulu Star-Bulletin, state election honcho Kevin Cronin said the election will be “secure and provide honest and accurate results.” But, you know, what else is he gonna say? Maybe the best news in all this is that the $43 million long-term contract Hawaii originally signed with Hart will have to be re-bid after this year because a state administrative hearings officer found it to be “clearly unreasonable.” MTW

OVERHEARD...

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And then there was one. Citing (can you guess what’s coming?) rising costs, Kauai sugar company Gay & Robinson announced it’s ceasing operations after more than a century in business. The company plans to lease its land to Pacific West Energy LLC, which will use the sugar for ethanol production. Once the deal is done, it’ll leave Hawaiian Commercial & Sugar Co. (a subsidiary of Alexander & Baldwin) as the only edible sugar-producing outfit in the state. But they’re not gloating. Quoted in The Maui News, HC&S General Manager Frank Kiger said being the last company standing is “not a comfortable place to be.”

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It’s the very definition of temporary relief, but cash-strapped motorists will no doubt take it: gas prices in Hawaii keep inching downward. Earlier this week the statewide per gallon average fell to $4.29, down 15 cents from a month ago. So now let’s throw a wet, regular unleaded-soaked blanket on that sort of good news: Hawaii’s gas is still costlier than that of every state in the union except Alaska, according to AAA figures. And here on Maui the per-gallon cost sits at $4.60 a gallon, meaning the price drop is really being enjoyed by folks on neighbor islands. Now doesn’t that make you want to go for a drive?

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SUNSET FUTON SOFA

Tough times for homeowners continue, even in paradise: foreclosure rates soared some 130 percent statewide in August over the same time last year, as reported in The Pacific Business News. That’s bad, but the bump was inflated by the foreclosure of 100 condominiums in one Kauai complex. By contrast, there were 64 foreclosure filings in August on Maui.

Maui retailers praying for a spike in holiday spending to help offset the summer lull may be in for a Grinchly surprise. PBN reports that New York City-based accounting firm Delolitte is predicting consumer spending between November and January nationwide will grow less than it has since 1991 (hey, that president was named Bush, too!). That could actually benefit consumers by lowering the cost of tiki shot glasses, gaudy floral print shirts and other crap that makes people hope you saved the receipt. MTW

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We appreciate your vote to re-elect McKelvey to protect our aina. But no matter what your say make sure to exercise your rights and VOTE on Saturday, September 20th, 2008 If we Snooze, We Lose!!

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I

t was a small kine decision. The refusal of one permit, two stages and a handful of nonprofit booths. In a unanimous succession of “ayes,” the members of the Cultural Resources Commission moved to deny a Lahaina Town Action Committee application to organize Halloween entertainment, T-shirt sales and food booths in a heated July 3 meeting. But this story is not just about a permit or a stage. With this minor verdict handed down by the CRC, whose job is to protect the cultural heritage of Lahaina, came a hefty message, loud and crystal clear: Halloween as we’ve known it for more than 30 years will no longer be tolerated by Native Hawaiians who think the celebration is disrespectful in an area that was once a home for Hawaiian royalty. “As a culture we have not stood up and said this is who we are. We have been kind. Generous to a fault,” said CRC commissioner Raymond Hutaff. “And so things are allowed to come to a head to where it’s very problematic. Now we have realized we are on the wrong path, and we need to change direction.” The question, however, is not if a massive crowd will descend on Lahaina on October 31. For roughly 30 years the costumed masses have ruled the street, and they will no doubt return in force again this year. The CRC—in an attempt to protect culturally valuable historic sites, send a message to the

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

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county and appease an impassioned but small group of protesters—has pulled the rug out from under the one entity in Lahaina that attempted to organize and control the party.

D

ebates about the merit of Halloween in Lahaina have been going on in a series of public CRC meetings since the first complaints came across the desk of the commission in 2006. Letters and testimonies of support from the members of LAC, Lahaina merchants and Maui residents wanting to keep the LAC involved painted the one-day event as fun, harmless and economically beneficial. Opponents point to the negative effects of the large celebration in Lahaina, which over the years has come to be known as the Mardi Gras of the Pacific. “The Cultural Resources Commission spent a considerable amount of time weighing the pros and cons that the community offered…particularly over the past two years when criticism of the evening activities in Lahaina Town grew into a contentious issue in the community,” said Maui County Communications Director Mahina

test and live musical entertainment. Artisans and nonprofit groups set up booths for food sales and entertainment under the Banyan tree, while Tshirt sales and promotions were organized to attract revelers on what had become the busiest night of the year in Lahaina. They’ve been organizing the same event every year since. “We recommended that they approve the permit,” said Planning Department director Jeff Hunt, who attended last July’s meeting to deliver the county’s official stance on the Halloween permit. “We felt the permits were for amenities that provide positive, healthy alternatives to what many groups opposed about the event, such as excessive drinking. I think that it’s unfortunate that there won’t be these alternatives that are more creative. Some of the costumes in the contest take a lot of time and thought and people get very creative.” According to the LAC, the merchant group didn’t begin the annual costume contest. They did, however, solicit sponsorship and raise funds to offer a bigger and better prize to the contest winners, encouraging ingenuity from the Maui com-

The CRC has puLled the rug out from under the one entIty In LahaIna that attempted to organIZe and control the party. Martin, who attended this year’s meeting and pledged the county’s support for whatever decision the CRC reached. The most heated arguments were heard last year in an August meeting in which the CRC reluctantly approved the permit with a 5-1 vote. “My concern is it’s going to happen anyway and I’d rather see it in a controlled environment,” said CRC Chairman Sam Kalalau told the Maui News in a 2007 article. This year the commission voted with concerned Native Hawaiians against the recommendation of the County Planning Department. Denying the permit will force the county to provide many services that the LAC did voluntarily and will prevent several nonprofits from setting up revenuegenerating food and activity booths.

I

t’s unclear exactly when and how Halloween in Lahaina, as a major Maui event, got started. Undoubtedly, costumed keiki have been raiding Front Street shops for candy loot for generations, and some time in the 1970s an annual parade of sugared-up little ones became a local tradition. Word of the party spread like wildfire and Front Street quickly became a destination for people from near and far on Halloween night. In 1990 the LAC voluntarily stepped in to provide a sense of organization to the evening, which many people said was getting rowdy and out of control. They joined forces with the police to close off a portion of Front Street and worked with the Soroptomists, who organize the keiki parade, to combine it with the adult costume con-

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

munity. Many elaborate Halloween costumes have been proudly paraded across the LAC stage in the 17 years they’ve organized the contest. The department’s recommendation for approval noted that the LAC has attempted to address some of the concerns Native Hawaiian groups had with the event and that a similar event has been run successfully and without incident since 1989. “The LAC offered a lot of benefits for the events too, and a lot of those things the county and the taxpayers will have to pick up,” said Hunt. Last year the LAC paid for more than 20 portable toilets across the historical district as well as safety lighting in dark areas around the Banyan tree to support the estimated 30,000 people who come to Front Street on Halloween. They also paid for two extra police officers to keep an eye on the crowds and cleanup crews to return the district to an orderly state once the revelers had cleared. Hunt also made a point to inform the CRC that voting against the permit application would not be the same as voting against Halloween. The permit was for entertainment stages and use of the historical district, but the public has a First Amendment right to show up in costume on Front Street regardless of whether or not the permit was approved. “I expected to be able to work together to accomplish what we need to do to find solutions,” said LAC Executive Director Rena Sampson, who was also the applicant for the denied permit. Most of the opposition to the event began after

a T-shirt design depicting a headless (and shirtless) Hawaiian warrior holding a pineapple surfaced. The LAC never sold the shirts.

O

bviously, the members of the LAC—an organization of merchants and restaurant, activity and hotel owners that promotes tourism and events in Lahaina—are in a position to profit from a well-attended Halloween celebration. The Pioneer Inn has traditionally been booked up months in advance for Halloween; Lahaina restaurant and bar owners have reported sales increases of 25 to 50 percent for that night. But the LAC does more than organize Halloween festivities. The group is the key sponsor of the International Festival of Canoes, an annual cultural event that promotes traditional Polynesian canoe carving. Lahaina restaurants and hotels, most of which are associated with the LAC, donate accommodations and meals to as many as 50 carvers who spend a week in Lahaina teaching and practicing this ancient art. Lahaina merchants also support the annual Kamehameha parade that honors the Hawaiian king and other great, historical families. “Our town is known for visitors and caters to visitors as well as residents,” said Sampson. The current economic slowdown is being felt sharply by business all around Maui. This year the LAC did not have enough support to put on the Taste of Lahaina, an event that draws thousands of people each year to sample the creations of different Maui chefs and restaurants and benefits several nonprofit organizations. “As a business owner I was disappointed in the decision because things like bathrooms, safety lighting and the organization of agencies, like the police and fire, were the role of the LAC,” said Jerry Kunitomo, the owner of BJ’s Pizzeria in Lahaina. “I think the permit application and the function of the event organizers became confused by the CRC.” The CRC and opponents of Halloween are hopeful that without the organization of entertainment and food booths by the LAC, Lahaina will become a less desirable place to spend the holiday and attendance will dwindle.


It’s impossible to estimate what impact the CRC decision will have on business in Lahaina this year. Some say that without alternative entertainment and food options Front Street bars and restaurants could actually receive a boost in business. According to the permit application, the community organizations that were lined up to take part in the Halloween event this year, and subsequently will suffer without the expected revenue, are: Lahaina Pop Warner, Lahaina High School Band, Kukulu Kumuhan, Santiago Association, Raenette Akima and Maui Surf Groms. Opponents of Halloween feel strongly that economic gains are not a valid argument to keep the event alive and thriving in the historic district, and that the remnants of Lahaina’s important role in Hawaiian history hold more value than the spoils Front Street businesses take from the festivities. “It hurts me to sit here and allow our history to be dictated by people that want money, that think of money,” Uilani Kapu of Kuleana Ku`ikahi testified to the CRC in 2007. “Go and do it in another area, not in our historical areas.” In Lahiana Historical District one, which stretches from Shaw to Papalua streets along Front Street, there are several important cultural sites and remnants, both from when Lahaina was the capital of the Hawaiian Kingdom and from the bustling years when it was a whaling mecca. The great taro patch of the Pi`ilani family stretched across the waterfront where the Pioneer Inn and the Banyan tree now sit. Just beyond that is Moku`ula, the ancient residence of Hawaiian chiefs and the focus of an enormous restoration project that has been underway for more than 10 years. These and other sites are central to the issues Native Hawaiians have with Halloween in Lahaina, but they’re not the only sticking points. Lewdness, public drunkenness and rowdy behavior, combined with noise, traffic and parking issues have compounded the problem. “Remember that this was the sacred home of the alii.” said Patty Nishiyama of Na Kupuna O Maui, a longtime opponent of Halloween in Lahaina. “There’s been so many changes, the children are confused. We don’t want confusion for our culture, our island.” It would be a far stretch to say Halloween is a cultural celebration. In the Catholic religion Halloween falls on the day before All Saints Day and observers traditionally dress up as goblins and monsters to scare away bad spirits, but modern Halloween celebrations have little to do with any religious origins. The festivities on Front Street probably have even less to do with their holy beginnings than most. After the jovial and always adorable keiki parade has made its way through town under the adoring eyes of parents and grandparents, Front Street becomes a place for costumed adults to congregate and party into the night. The wide majority of people are respectful, good-natured and there to enjoy the annual entertainment and put their creativity to the test in the costume contest. But a not insignificant number of partiers get overly intoxicated and show up in costumes too lewd or revealing for a family affair, an image the LAC has recently been trying to promote for the festivities. It could be argued, in fact, that watching the spectacle unfold is a major draw for a lot of the people who make their way down on Halloween.

“We don’t want our children to remember Lahaina as the Mardi Gras of the Pacific,” said Nishiyama, referring to an advertising slogan the LAC used to promote the event but abandoned due to objections by Native Hawaiian organizations. Nishiyama also says she supports the annual keiki Halloween parade as an acceptable form of celebration for Maui’s children. “It used to be Halloween for the keiki to go trickor-treating,” she said. “Now other islands look to Lahaina and call it Sin City. That’s not for our town and our future generations.”

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this? How did such a small community become so divided? At what point did it become Halloween supporters against Halloween haters; Native Hawaiians against the LAC; cultural respect versus economic progress? A share of the problem lies in the public hearing process and its tendency to pit neighbor against neighbor like tattle-telling school children. Passionate testimony came from both sides. But in the end the county is left holding the bag and the community loses a beloved event. Historical sites are no safer without the LAC’s organizational efforts and there’s no guarantee that they ever will be. “I really hate to see our community torn apart,” said Kunitomo. And people will wonder if other favored events, like the Fourth of July celebration or Chinese New Year in Lahaina, will come under fire for not being culturally significant enough to pass under the CRC’s watchful eye. MTW

he situation with the Halloween festivities in Lahaina and the conflict it faces didn’t just happen overnight,” said Martin. “I’m sure any kind of resolution will take an equal amount of time.” The county now has a new pair of shoes to fill, ones that were willingly worn by the staff of the LAC. Martin says plans are in progress to ensure public safety on Halloween this year, although she gave no direct answers as to how the county plans to provide restrooms, lighting, water and other necessities that massive crowds require. She did say that the individual businesses on Front Street have HALLOWEEN INFO... been contacted and will play a larger role in organization this year’s event. The keiki parade will still be held at 4pm “The merchants are stepping forward to down Front Street ending at the Banyan Tree assist with clean up efforts,” she said. “Their willingness to help and become part of the solution Individual businesses are planning to host has been very impressive.” themed events, but there will be no officially Sampson declined to comment on whether the sanctioned costume contest or food, activity LAC would pursue a permit for Halloween activities and craft booths next year. It could be the end of an era for the LAC and for long-time Halloween participants. No alcohol will be allowed on the streets Captain Charles Hirata of the Lahaina Police Department, who testified in 2007 about the benefits to The ‘Ohana Coalition Maui supports the election of public safety of grantiethical government representatives who are ng the LAC permit, committed to protecting the culture and the says nothing much will environment, and promoting sustainability, social justice, education, and island style small-town living change on his end. for Maui. The Coalition also communicates with “We’re basically elected officials about relevant community issues. going to respond in the same way,” he said. “That means patrol traffic, manage safety and provide adequate personnel. We’ll prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.” MAUI COUNTY COUNCIL Halloween will WEST MAUI LANAI come and go, just like it (Dual Endorsement Choose one) Jo Anne Johnson does each year. People Sol Kaho'ohalahala will celebrate on Front SOUTH MAUI Matt Mano Street like they always (Dual Endorsement - Choose one) do. Some will put hours Wayne Nishiki of effort into masterful Don Couch costumes, some will State HOUSE arrive in outfits that 8th DISTRICT (Kahului, Waikapu) - Tasha Kama would only be appropri11th DISTRICT (South Maui) - Michael Gingerich ate on Little Beach. 12th DISTRICT (Upcountry) - Summer Starr People will get intoxi13th DISTRICT (North Shore Maui, Hana, Molokai, Lanai) - Mele Carroll cated, but many more will enjoy themselves State SENATE just enough and not step 5th DISTRICT (West Maui, South Maui) - Roz Baker over that line. The bigger question *These endorsements are for the Primary Election only. Watch for General Election OCM endorsements. Paid for by the ‘Ohana Coalition Maui, PO Box 739, Makawao, HI 96768 is: How did it come to

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‘Ohana Coalition Maui Candidate Endorsements for September 20th Primary Election*

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ONO KINEGRINDS

Laying down the raw Vegan eatery offers enticing alternatives ou may think you know everything that can be rendered from coconuts: rope from husk, bra from shell, curry/poolside sipper from nectar. You can even stick a lime inside one for to relieve your bellyache. Or so I hear. But chicken?

Y

Yes, it’s true: thick shreds of coconut flesh, when prepared the right way, make for an amazing tasting, perfectly textured dethroner of chicken. Coated with a delightful (and, of course, top secret) blend of spices, this is just one of the eye-catchingly original dishes you’ll come across at Abundant ‘Aina Café—an all vegan, mostly raw food stand in Kahului that serves as an oasis of sorts among the greasy gridlock of Dairy Road. Eating a meal consisting almost entirely of raw, organic ingredients may be unfathomable for some. Yet dwelling within a culture that views deep-fried Snickers bars as a delicacy does not mean we should live and die by the battered drumstick. That said, it’s certainly easy to focus on what Abundant ‘Aina, now rounding out its first year in business, is not. Everything that Chef Marlene DePierre serves up

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Classic

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SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Tuesday through Saturday between the hours of 11am and 6pm is sans meat, gluten, wheat, dairy, and sugar. Yet the focus here is not what’s absent but rather what’s there: flavor, originality, color, quality, quantity, vibrancy and more.

Abundant ‘Aina Cafe 333 Dairy Road, Suite 101 Kiosk, Kahului 893-AINA Tues.-Sat., 11am-6pm

What will strike you first about pretty much anything you order—whether smoothie, kimchee, or enchilada—is the way DePierre and crew use color to create something that appeals to both the taste buds and the eyes. The bright orange butternut squash soup I ordered, for example, was sprinkled with edible flowers and sprouts. Also running the spectral gamut were the nori rolls. It’s pretty difficult to find vegan

nori rolls to begin with, so Abundant Aina’s take on them was a welcome sight. Their contents included manna (sprouted) bread, fresh avocado, buckwheat sprouts and cucumber. Then there was the “pizza,” loaded with pesto and olives (the good kind), which may possibly be the most flavorful thing I have had in a long time, raw or otherwise. Abundant Aina staff member Lauren Harris tells me that the newest menu item, coconut-based gelato, is tasty to an insane degree. (They had just run out when I was there.) Adding to this place’s already abundant appealing factors is the ethical aspect of eating here. Patronizing an establishment that uses 90 percent local ingredients is a painless way to show one’s support for the environment as well as the local economy; to put a few bucks behind all that green talk. “While people are drinking Tropicana orange juice there are oranges on the ground,” owner Daniel Hunt said. While this aspect may be drawing in more and more people, tourists and residents alike, it’s the food that keeps this


BY KATE BRADSHAW CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

the best rewards

are enjoyed one bite at a time.

place going. Visiting once will likely result in subsequent visits, especially after a conversation or two with the extremely friendly staff. I myself am thinking about ditching Clif bars in favor of their cacao drink for workout fuel. The drink is a delightful blend of sesame, coconut and hazelnut butters, cacao, maca (an herb that is said to boost vitality), goji berries and a pinch of cayenne. Then there’s the ginger turmeric shot, which sounds like a killer detox combo (too bad they’re not open on Sundays). DePierre says that “adventuresome spirits” constitute much of the clientele here. It’s hard to imagine why someone gutsy enough to inhale fried chicken or goose liver pâté would want to avoid their tasty, grease-free and exponentially more ethical counterparts. MTW

Photos: (left to right) Rawberry pie with fresh fruit; butternut squash soup; nori rolls and salad. Photos by: Lauren Harris

Mahalo for 10 sizzling years on Maui in Lahaina!

25% OFF

We’re celebrating with a gift to all Kama‘aina. For the entire month of September, present your ID and receive 25% off all food. (Not valid with any other promotion, to go or with the Prime Time Menu.)

Mahalo Maui for voting us Best Steak! Inspired by our resident vegan Kate Bradshaw, the Meat-er is designed to help carnivores, omnivores and herbivores alike make informed dining choices.

Featuring daily breakfast and dinner specials Big Wave offers a unique blend of casual American cuisine blended with contemporary island flavors.

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INTRODUCING CHEF RAUL BERMUDEZ’S NEWEST RESTAURANT & HAWAII’S FIRST CERTIFIED BLACK ANGUS STEAK HOUSE.

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Start your day off with our delicious eye-opening Bloody Marys. $5

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TWO FOR TUESDAY All well drinks - Two for $5

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Call for reservations 669-8889

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TGI FRIDAY

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MAKIN’ THE MOSTA MIMOSA SATURDAY Start the weekend off right with $5 sparkling wine or Mimosas

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

19


Every Thursday Publisher Tommy Russo, Editor Jacob Shafer and Staff Writer Kate Bradshaw discuss the thinking and decisions that went into the week's issue. It's called

‘Beyond the Ink’

and it's another way we're bringing you Maui's most interesting and informative coverage.

NOW IN CONVENIENT PODCAST FORM!

Check it out at www.mauitime.com

COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

NOW COCONUTTIER

THAN EVER! Check it out in next week’s issue!

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maui’s premiere clubhouse is. . .

FOOD CREDIT

CERTIFICATE Good for ALL food items during September 2008

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Celebrating 17 Years! Homestyle New American Comfort Food Air Conditioned Smoke Free Bar TV’s • Pool Tables • $2 Beer • $4 Glass of Wine

Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner Open Daily: 7:30am - 11pm Dinner Served 5pm - 10pm Full Bar

WHERE PEOPLE & FOOD OF GOOD TASTE COME TOGETHER! In Our New Location - Azeka II - 874-3779

20

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

To Say Thank You to our fine Customers we are offering Specials all week!

Breakfast 20%off Monday - Friday • 7:30am - 8:30am

Dinner 20%off

Monday - Sunday • 5pm-6pm *excludes alcohol


TAKEFIVE

BY JACOB SHAFER JACOB@MAUITIME.COM

Places to soak up Friday night with Saturday morning pancakes TASTY CRUST, WAILUKU Call ‘em whatever you want: griddle cakes, hot cakes, flapjacks—after a Friday night of indulging there’s no better cure for the Saturday morning gurgles (OK, a little graphic, sorry) than a piping hot stack of fried batter topped with fruit, nuts, syrup or, ideally, all of the above. And when it comes to pancakes, Tasty Crust is the undisputed spatula-wielding champ. We’ve heard different theories about what goes into their breakfast treats to make them so light and fluffy but frankly we don’t care. Why would we want to figure it out and try to make them at home when Tasty’s got us covered like a maple syrup slathered stack?

RUBY’S, KAHULUI The world may not need another ‘50s themed nostalgia diner with red vinyl booths, but damn if the vittles here aren’t rib-stickingly delicious. Their cinnamon roll French toast is highly recommended; but we’re here today to talk about that other sugary AM staple, which they have in a variety of sizes and delectable flavors. Plus, for the truly zoned out, they’ve got The Wizard of Oz playing on a loop in this weird little porthole TV.

MAUI’s BEST SUSHI

“Enjoy a ROLEX of a meal for the price of a TIMEX!”

JAVA JAZZ

& Soup Nutz BREAKFAST • LUNCH • DINNER STEAKS • LOBSTER • PASTA • SALADS BREAKFAST SERVED ALL DAY • 6am– 10pm

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Omelettes, Frittatas, Bagels & Lox

Live Music Mon., Tues., & Weds. René Alonzo on Piano

Thurs., Fri., & Sat. Miguel & Farzad

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SANSEI

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Celebrating 10 years of Maui’s Finest Food & Atmosphere

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s day ch 7 :30pm n u l 2 ing m – serv m 11a w No ek fro e aw

STELLA BLUES, KIHEI We mentioned berries and nuts as possible toppings but failed to add another great option: chocolate chips. For those whose sweet tooth is tough to satiate, this combination is killer in the best possible sense. If that sounds like too much of a good thing, Stella’s also has the “Triple Bs”: blueberries, banana and plain old buttermilk.

Serving Maui’s Only

INDIAN CUISINE NOW OPEN LUNCH: MON-FRI 11-2:30 DINNER: MON-SUN 5-9

Mexican Restaurant OPEN FOR BREAKFAST

Order Online! www.shangri-labythesea.com At Menehune Shores Condos - Oceanside 760 S. Kihei Rd. Ste. 109 • 808.875.4555

T du ring. . . $ 2 Ta co s EV ERYDAY & NI GH

MILAGROS, PAIA After a couple head clearing hours spent splashing with the wee ones in the placid waters of Baby Beach, roll into town and enjoy a stack of thick-but-airy hot cakes coated with banana and macadamia nuts on the patio of this bustling corner eatery. Then cap the day off with a trip to the across-the-road graveyard for some awesome ocean views and a little post-pancake reflection.

KIHEI CAFFE, KIHEI Order at the counter, hope you can grab a table and watch the tourists walk by as you wait for your scrumptious stack to arrive. Seriously though, get your people watching out of the way early, because once the cakes are in front of you, you won’t be looking up ‘til they’re gone. MTW

Happy Hour! tic Drafts! $3 Domes Cans! $3 Tecate

! argartitas M & s ll e $4 W

at the cantina

• College and NFL Football • Free WiFi Internet Access • 52” HD Flat Screen TVs

from 3-6pm and 10pm- Midnight Located between Front & Wainee Streets in front of the Movie Theaters

900 Front St. #F3 Lahaina, HI 96761 • 808.667.7805

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

21


ART&ENTERTAINMENT

BY KATE BRADSHAW KATE@MAUITIME.COM

Xer0 sum Maui rock trio Xer0 Gravity wants to conquer the world ne of the biggest (yet most underrated) keys to an album’s success is the sound engineer’s skills at mixing it down. You can pack a studio with ridiculously skilled musicians whose tightness and chemistry approach Beatles-esque heights, but a smidge too much reverb or turning the rhythm guitar track a notch too high can mean the difference between a great listen and a CD beer coaster. One of the initially striking elements of Haiku-based Xer0 Gravity’s debut release, titled The Best of Xer0 Gravity, is the quality of the sound. It’s clear that someone knew what he was doing. That someone happens to be E. John Messersmith III, the band’s bass player. Until recently Messersmith was the soundman at Charley’s in Paia, one of Maui’s top venues for a variety of musical styles. Before even placing the disc in a CD player, one may wonder why a band would name their two-yearsin-the-making debut CD Best of …

O

“We thought we’d start where everyone ended,” drummer Jose Ortiz said. “There’s nothing else to compare it to, so that’s why we call it the best.” Makes sense. Also, Messersmith added, the music serves as something of a showcase of all of the band’s influences. Although their MySpace page lists “everyone, everything, everywhere,

22

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

everyday” as the band’s influences, it’s easy to tease out who has inspired them most from a listen or two. Led Zeppelin sticks out quite predominantly, though there are some pretty strong musical similarities to Tool and Van Halen as well. Some tracks even hinted at Boston, others at King Crimson and still others gave off a few wisps of AC(lightning bolt)DC. Ortiz and Messersmith also list Talking Heads, the Beatles and R.E.M. among their main influences. Though a rock and roll band through and through, Xer0 Gravity does not seem at all afraid to part ways with formula when it doesn’t suit a particular song. The dynamic nature of nearly every tune on Best of makes the band’s sound stand out. The CD’s second track, “Ernest Goes to Hell,” for example, kicks in with guitarist Freddy Turk’s repetition of a solid guitar riff before giving way to a more nuanced chord progression for the chorus, complete with a staccato bass line that walks into each new chord with an element of drama reminiscent of a Ray Manzarek (formerly of the Doors) bass line (though Manzarek, of course wasn’t playing his bass lines on bass guitar). The album’s fifth track, “Free,” has the feel of a late ‘70s rock ballad, complete with a bright lead, a catchy breakdown and even a Bostonlike wail at the song’s culmination. Nearly every song on the CD has lyrics that reveal social consciousness; a relief and a welcome departure from the norm, given the creepy lyrical preoccupation with romantic relationships that spans all musical genres and all eras (Zappa notwithstanding). Yet it lacks the overuse of multi-tracked lead vocals and the oversized ego many rock songs carry with them. After a few listens it’s easy to see why The Best of xer0 Gravity took two years to write and record. It’s quite obvious that the constitution of each track was plotted out in an exacting manner. Given the band’s aspirations, the time spent in production is well justified.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Messersmith and Ortiz said that factors like a shortage of venues, the limited onisland competition within the genre and the lack of demand for original music make being a successful original rock and roll band on Maui especially challenging. Instead, they plan on using the Valley Isle as more of a launch pad from which Ortiz promised the band will “conquer the world.” Said Ortiz: “Usually a man is not a prophet in his own land.” MTW You can check out The Best of Xer0 Gravity on iTunes or on the band’s Web site, www.xer0gravty.com (that’s a zero in the middle not an “o”). Photos: (top) Jose Ortiz; Freddy Turk


MINDCANDY

BY YNEZ TONGSON YNEZ@MAUITIME.COM

Seeing stars/ astrology Linda Goodman’s Sun Signs Linda Goodman

EH

TALK IS CHEAP

BRAH!

SEND YOUR EH BRAH TO ehbrah@mauitime.com

Honestly, my favorite astrologer is Caeriel Crestin. Sadly, to the best of my knowledge, Caeriel doesn’t have a book or blog detailing the intricacies of the zodiac. However, Linda Goodman does a pretty good job of giving the twelve signs their own distinct personalities, while exemplifying them via verses from Lewis Carroll’s ‘Alice in Wonderland’. Goodman chronicles each Sun Sign, then further categorizes them into Man, Woman, Child, Boss and Employee. Are you wondering why your Capricorn boss never seems to go home? Well, as Goodman will further explain, he’s already made the office his home. This is a wonderful starting point for people who would like to learn about astrology.

ECO Rental Cars BIO-BEETLE.com 808-873-6121

Linda Goodman’s Love Signs

Powered By BIODIESEL

Linda Goodman Now that you’ve gotten to know yourself, it’s time to see how you match up with other people. Don’t deny it; checking compatibility is one of the big draws of astrology. Are you a Gemini wondering how you’d fare with that mysterious Scorpio babe? Can that Aries fire ever turn into ice? Here, Goodman gives an in-depth profile of male/female relationships within the realm of the zodiac. I especially like how she never tells the reader which relationships to avoid, instead emphasizing that all relationships will take some work. That’s pretty good advice by itself. Something to keep in mind while exploring what the stars have in store for you: this book was originally published in the ‘70s, when the love may not have been quite free, but at least it was still on sale.

Darkside Zodiac Stella Hyde So, you’ve gotten to know your sign and how you relate to other people. You must be thinking you’re pretty smooth, huh? Before you hit the streets with the “selfconfidence” and “charm” your specific sign affords you, please remember that those traits can also translate as “arrogant” and “outright obnoxious.” Not so raring to go anymore, are you? Darkside Zodiac is my type of astrology. Sarcastic and witty, it emphasizes the, well, dark side of the zodiac. Wondering which sign is the most likely to stab you in the back or sleep with your partner? What about which sign is the most likely candidate for an STD? Darkside Zodiac will tell you that and more (even though you might have not wanted to know). While the book is admittedly snarky, it does have a lot of information pertaining to some of the more complicated aspects of the astrology, including the importance of ascendants as well as planetary influences. You know, just in case you believe in that sort of rubbish. MTW

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

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FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY COLE@MAUITIME.COM

Hunchback in business Kid-friendly animated romp pays tribute to classic monster movies ohn Cusack is the innocent voice of Igor, a hunchbacked laboratory assistant to the doomed mad scientist Dr. Glickenstein (voiced by John Cleese) in this irresistible animated comedy that’s rooted in the look of early monster movie classics. Unlike every

J

Igor

★★★★★ Rated PG/88 min.

other hunchbacked “Igor” in the dark town of Malaria, this one dreams of creating his own imposing monster to win the first place prize at the annual Evil Science Fair that Dr. Schadenfreude (voiced by Eddie Izzard) has dominated for the past 17 years. With the help of a grumpy and indestructible bucktoothed bunny named Scamper (hilariously

voiced by Steve Buscemi) and a lively brain in a jar (Sean Hayes), Igor creates an unpredictably sensitive female hippogriff named Eve (delightfully voiced by Molly Shannon) who thinks of herself only as an aspiring actress. The non-scary animation is charming and the goofy humor is appropriate for little ones. Christian Slater, Jay Leno and Jennifer Coolidge add their inspired vocal talents to the Halloween-themed fun. September kid’s movies are few and far between, so it comes as some solace that Igor, with its asymmetrical characters, is a gentle kind of children’s movie that eschews toilet humor (mostly) in favor of a colorful gothic romanticism that pokes fun in all directions. Much of its subtle charm comes from uptempo songs by jazz great Louis Prima. The first act especially features jump blues tunes that percolate under the zany action, which takes place mainly in the confines of a giant lab where Igor sets about animating his bride-of-Frankenstein-styled creature with an evil bone (we know so because it glows green) in her finger. In order to win at the science fair, Eve must knock out the lesser creations of every other mad genius

using a brutish physicality that she simply doesn’t consciously possess. In spite of her gigantic size and severely lopsided body—she’s like a hippo ballerina crossed with a stick figure—Eve fancies herself as a thespian ingenue. Eve says pretentious method actor things The Bride of Frankenstein...for kids! like, “As an actor I feel things very deeply.” Believing she’s been cast in a stage verAnd so it’s up to Igor to reprogram his sursion of Annie that Igor is directing, Eve preprisingly intelligent invention into being pares her version of the song “Tomorrow” to evil by placing her in front of a black and which she pirouettes with ball-wrecking white television set showing clips from effect. The musical shift from jump blues to classic monster movies. The plan goes awry Broadway tunes might be a little jarring for when jar-brained “Brian” makes a switch some adult ears, but it accentuates Igor as a that makes Eve all the more convinced that mishmash of eccentric elements taken from it’s better to be, “a good nobody than an evil the golden age of monster movies and set somebody.” Fortunately for Igor, his truly against a festive atmosphere of ecstatic evil competition Dr. Schadenfreude and momentum. There’s nothing here to cause shape-shifting assistant Jacklyn (Jennifer nightmares for little audience members. Coolidge) hatch a plan with a different outIgor is good clean fun. MTW come than they imagine.

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SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY


MOVIE CAPSULES Maui Film Festival’s Candlelight Cinema ELEGY - R - Drama - Ben Kingsley plays an aging professor who becomes jealously enthralled with a young graduate student (Penelope Cruz). 108 min. (Kate Badshaw)

New This Week GHOST TOWN - PG13 - Comedy - The Office (UK) and Extras star Ricky Gervais stars as a dude who dies on the operating tabble for seven minutes. When he is revived he is able to see and communicate with the dead, which ends up being kind of a pain in the ass. 102 min. (KB) IGOR - PG - Animation - A twist on classic monster tales, this flick tells the story of a young mad scientist’s assistant who is aspiring to overcome his fate and become an evil scientist himself. Only, the super monster he attempts to make doesn’t turn out the way he thought it would. John Cusack, John Cleese and Steve Buscemi provide a few character voices. 86 min. (KB) LAKEVIEW TERRACE - R - Thriller - A young couple attempts to find bliss in their new suburban home only to discover that their new neighbor, a severe cop played by Samuel L. Jackson, is one bad mothafucka. 110 min. (KB) MY BEST FRIEND’S GIRL - R - Comedy - So basically, a dude (Jason Biggs) is a bit too into the chick he’s been dating (Kate Husband), who as a result dumps him. Dude then calls on a friend who is an expert at driving girls back into the arms of their exes. Creepy. 101 min. (KB)

Now Showing AMERICAN TEEN - PG13 - Documentary A Sundance hit, this film follows the daily lives of four very different high school seniors. Directed by Nanette Burnstein 95 min. BABYLON A.D. - PG13 - Action - Vin Diesel plays a man on a mission in this postapocalyptic what-have-you. His mission gets thrown off course, as you might imagine, when he discovers the more sinister implications of his task. Explosions are expected. 90 min. BANGKOK DANGEROUS - R - Action Nicholas Cage plays a ruthless assassin who lands in Bangkok for a job. The longer he stays there, the more attached he gets to a young criminal he is mentoring and a shop girl he is falling for. Adrenaline spikes are expected. 100 min. BOTTLE SHOCK - PG13 - Comedy - It’s California’s wine country in the seventies. A British wine snob in pursuit of Napa Valley’s finest vintage stumbles upon an intriguing father and son-run winery, which produces the best Chardonnay around. Family tension and young love provide subplots that may appeal to some. 108 min.

BY KATE BRADSHAW CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

tional to number of paint cans huffed before entering theater. 90 min. THE FAMILY THAT PREYS - PG13 - Drama Kathy Bates stars as a wealthy socialite who, along with her best friend (Alfre Woodard), discovers unthinkable family secrets involving affairs, baby daddies and other ethical breaches. In light of this, they take a road trip (something only socialites can afford). Written and directed by Tyler Perry. 111 min. THE HOUSE BUNNY - PG13 - Comedy - A recently-ousted Playboy bunny somehow ends up living among a sorority of dumpy girls. Determined to bestow hotness upon them, she learns a few lessons of her own. Hmmm. 97 min. THE LONGSHOTS - PG13 - Comedy Apparently based on a true story, this film serves as former Limp Bizkit singer Fred Durst’s directorial debut. Hmmm. It follows the rise of the young girl who became the first female to compete in the Pop Warner football tournament. 94 min. MAMMA MIA - PG13 - Comedy - ABBA returns with a vengeance in this screen adaptation of the musical that put a skip in the step of dancing queens around the world. 98 min. THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR - PG13 - Action - Apparently the third in a series involving embalmed and ornery ancient monarchs, the newest Mummy turn looks to ancient China for its backdrop. After accidentally waking a cursed Han Emperor (Jet Li) from his 2,000 year sleep, explorer Rick O’Connell (Brendan Fraser) ends up being charged with stopping the undead from pursuing world domination. 114 min. PROUD AMERICAN - PG - Drama Combining documentary and drama, this film highlights the major differences - as well as the similarities - among America in terms of population and landscape. 90 min. RIGHTEOUS KILL - R - Drama - DeNiro and Pacino team up once again to play a pair of aging cops on the trail of a serial killer who goes after criminals who have fallen through the cracks of the justice system. 101 min. TRAITOR - PG13 - Drama - An FBI CIA agent sets out on the winding trail of a former Special Operations officer (Don Cheadle) with alleged ties to terrorist groups. He comes to find out that things are not as they seem. 114 min. TROPIC THUNDER - R - Comedy - The cast of a Nam flick in-the-making finds itself having to go from fantasy to reality after a series of mishaps. Plenty of room for brilliant satire. 106 min. VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA - PG13 Comedy - Woody Allen’s latest edition, this flick follows the romantic misadventures of two young American women (played by Scarlett Johansson and Rebecca Hall) spending the summer in Spain. Also stars Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz. 96 min. THE WOMEN - PG13 - Drama - A bunch of hot, catty high society women talk about shopping and men. Plot strikes when one of said men gets caught cheating. 114 min.

BURN AFTER READING - R - Comedy With films like Raising Arizona, The Big Lebowski, and No Country for Old Men under the Coen Brothers’ belt it’s hard not to get one’s hopes up for this one. The cast, which includes John Malkovich, Brad Pitt, and Tilda Swinton, also raises the bar. The premise: two bonehead gym employees stumble upon a draft of a former CIA agent’s memoirs, then attempt extortion. 97 min.

Front Street Theater 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees: MF until 6:30pm, Sa-Su until 3:30pm, Discount Tue), Babylon A.D. - PG13 - 3:45, 6:45, 9:15 Burn After Reading - R - Th 4:15, 7:15, 9:45. Th . F 1:15, 3:45, 6:45, 9:15. Sa-Su 1:15, 3:45, 6:45, 9:15. M-W 3:45, 6:45, 9:15. Disaster Movie - PG13 - Th only 9 The House Bunny - PG13 - 3:30, 6:30 Lakeview Terrace - R - F 4, 7, 9:30. Sa-Su 1:30, 4, 7, 9:30. M-W 1:30, 4, 7, 9:30. My Best Friend’s Girl - R - F-W 1:45, 4:15, 7:15, 9:45. Righteous Kill - R - Th 4, 7,, 9:30. F 3:30, 6:30, 9. Sa-Su 1, 3:30, 6:30, 9. M-W 3:30, 6:30, 9.

Ka’ahumanu 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 875-4910 (Matinees: everyday until 4pm), Babylon A.D. - PG13 - Th 11:30, 1:35, 3:40, 5:45, 7:50, 9:55. F-W 12:35, 3, 5:10, 7:05, 9:40. Death Race - R - 1:10, 5:40, 10 The Family That Preys - PG13 - Th 12:15, 2:35, 4:55, 7:10, 9:35. F-W 12:15, 2:35, 4:55, 7:10, 9:35. Ghost Town - PG13 - 12:30, 2:45, 5, 7:20, 9:30 The House Bunny - PG13 - Th 11, 1:15, 3:25, 5:35, 7:45, 9:55. F-W 12:45, 2:55, 5:05, 7:30, 9:50. Mama Mia - PG13 - Th 11, 3:25, 7:45. F-W 12, 4:40, 7. Traitor - PG13 - Th 12:05, 2:30, 5, 7:20, 9:50. F-W 2:20, 9:35. The Women - PG13 - Th-W 11:45, 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45.

Kukui Mall 1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 ( Matinees: everyday until 4pm), Bangkok Dangerous - R - Th only 1:10, 3:25, 5:40, 7:55 Burn After Reading - R - Th 1:20, 3:30, 5:40, 7:50. F-Sa 12:50, 3, 5:10, 7:20, 9:30. Su 12:50, 3, 5:10, 7:20. M-W 1:20, 3:30, 5:40, 7:50. My Best Friend’s Girl - R - F-Sa 12:05, 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:20. Su 12:05, 2:20, 4:40, 7. M-W 1:10, 3:30, 5:50, 8:10. Righteous Kill - R - Th 1:30, 3:45, 6, 8:15. F-Sa 12:45, 3, 5:15, 7:30, 9:45. Su 12:45, 3, 5:15, 7:30. M-W 1:05, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45. The Women - PG13 - Th 1, 3:25, 5:50, 8:15. F-Sa 12, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10. Su 12, 2:30, 5, 7:30. M-W 1, 3:25, 5:50, 8:15.

Maui Mall Megaplex Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm), American Teen - PG13 - 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:30 Bangkok Dangerous - R - Th 1:30, 2:20, 4, 4:45, 6:30, 7:15, 9, 9:45. F-Su 12, 1:30, 2:20, 4:45, 6:35, 7:15, 9:45. M-W 1:30, 2:20, 4:45, 6:35, 7:15, 9:45. Bottle Shock - PG13 - 1:30, 6:35 Burn After Reading - R - Th 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:30. F-Su 12:05, 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:30. M-W 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:30. Disaster Movie - PG13 - Th 12:50, 5:10, 7:25, 9:40. F-Su 12:30, 2:50, 5:10, 7:25, 9:40. M-W 2:50, 5:10, 7:25, 9:40. Igor - PG - F-Su 12;05, 2:15, 4:30, 6:45, 9. M-W 2:15, 4:30, 6:45, 9. Lakeview Terrace - R - F 2, 4:40, 7:20, 10. Sa-Su 2, 4:40, 7:20, 10. M-W 2, 4:40, 7:20, 10. The Longshots - PG13 - Th 2:45, 4:55, 7:05, 9:35. F-Su 12:30, 2:45, 4:55, 7:05, 9:35. M-W 2:45, 4:55, 7:05, 9:35. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor PG13 - Th 3:45, 6:25, 9:10. F-Su 1:10, 3:45, 6:25, 9:10. M-W 3:45, 6:25, 9:10. My Best Friend’s Girl - R - F-Su 1:50, 4:20, 6:50, 9:20. M-W 1:50, 4:20, 6:50, 9:20. Proud American - PG - Th only 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15 Righteous Kill - R - Th 2:20, 4:45, 7:10, 9:35. F-Su 12, 2:20, 4:45, 7:10, 9:35. M-W 2:20, 4:45, 7:10, 9:35. Tropic Thunder - R - Th 12, 1:45, 2:30, 4:15, 5, 6:45, 7:30, 9:15, 9:55. F-Su 12, 2:30, 4:05, 5, 7:30, 9, 9:55. M-W 2:30, 4:05, 5, 7:30, 9, 9:55. Vicky Cristina Barcelona - PG13 - Th 2:05, 4:30, 6:55, 9:20. F-W 1:45, 4:15, 6:55, 9:20.

Wharf Cinema Center

DEATH RACE - R - Action - Prisoners from a not-too-distant dystopian future are forced to compete in big scary car races. Champion racer Jensen Ames (Jason Stratham) gets framed for murder and sent to prison to compete in said races. 89 min. DISASTER MOVIE - PG13 - Comedy Another “insert-premise-here” attempt to lampoon pop culture. Degree of humor found here is presumably directly propor-

SHOWTIMES

Wed.. 9/24 5 :000 & 7:30pm

MauiFilmFestival.com m $100 w/pass

658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day), Bangkok Dangerous - R - Th only 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15 The Family That Preys - PG13 - Th 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30 F 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15. Sa-Su 11:15, 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15. M-W 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15. Igor - PG - F 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30. Sa-Su 11:30, 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30. M-W 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30. Tropic Thunder - R - Th-F 1:30, 4, 6:30, 9. Sa-Su 11, 1:30, 4, 6:30, 9. M-W 1:30, 4, 6:30, 9.

LOOKING FOR

GIRLS

IN KAHULUI?

Lingerie Night! Monday & Tuesday

$2 Domestic Beers

• Maui’s Most Beautiful Girls • The Greatest Pu-Pus • New Faces & Management • Maui’s Hottest Nights!

DIANE’S Club

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Happy Hour 2-7PM OPEN 2PM-2AM 7 DAYS A WEEK

CALL 205-8778 AND ASK ABOUT FREE TRANSPORTATION TO AND FROM CLUB DIANE!

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

25


THIS WEEK’S

PICKS

Nellie-licious

The legend returns

Thursday (Sept. 18), 7:30pm, McCoy Studio Theater, MACC

Friday (Sept. 19), 10pm, Casanova, Makawao

[STAGE] In case you’re wondering: Ann Coulter is still alive (though whether she was ever well I can’t say) and on Maui. Actually, it’s Nora Burns, whose impersonation of the above-mentioned harpy as part of the sketch troupe The Nellie Olesons is pretty spot-on. If done right, sketch comedy can be a quite brilliant form. Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Mr. Show, and The Kids in the Hall are among my very quotable favorites. The form seems to readily lend itself to political and social satire as well as sheer absurdity. L.A. based sketch comedy troupe The Nellie Olesons (named for a Little House on the Prairie character) finally brings its brand of brainy, racy, and off-the-wall comedy to Maui this weekend, to our good fortune. The troupe isn’t afraid of sex, politics, spandex or anything else that may offend; this is definitely a night to spring for a sitter/ditch that cute but misguided FOX Newsite you’ve been seeing. Presented by Manhattan Mama’s Coconut Cabaret. $20.

[MUSIC] For me, one of the most unappealing things about the dance floor is often the music. I would rather stay home, where the booze is cheaper, than feign tolerance for music whose lyricists are clearly fixated on T&A. Get over it, man; it’s been done. This is why it’s a relief that Saturday night an independent, conscious hip hop artist with local ties will grace the stage at Casanova. Grouch, formerly of the band Living Legend, has returned to Maui from L.A. with his wife and baby daughter. A music producer since 1995, he’ll be performing the latest tracks off his most recent offering, “Show You the World.” Guest performers will include Oahu’s Hooked on Phonics, Revolutionary Habitat (dig the name!), and Nohokai (both Mauibased). $20

THURSDAY

➤➤➤➤➤ FRIDAY ➤➤➤➤➤ SATURDAY ➤➤➤➤➤ SUN

13TH ANNUAL

CLASSIC CAR SHOW

142 HANA HWY, PAIA

Sunday September 28th • 1 – 5:00pm

FUN • GAMES • PRIZES • Grand Prize @ 5:00pm

Restaurant THURSDAY SEPT 18 Music 10 PM - Close

$10 COVER

FRIDAY SEPT 19 Music 10 PM - Close

NO COVER!

Join the Maui Classic Cruisers!

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL MAUI BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS

ALL KINDS OF CARS WELCOME! HOT ROD “IDOL” TALENT COMPETITION $5 Entry Fee

Must Pre-Register by Sept. 21st

Call 281-7859

Vehicles 1978 & older qualify for the Big Brother Big Sister Award.

Moondance - 1pm PRE-REGISTER CARS: $5 “IDOL” Contest - 2pm REGISTER AT SHOW: $8 GAME KIDS - 4pm

875-8944 26

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

Performances by:

(11am-1pm)

1279 South Kihei Road, Azeka II

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

808-573-8085 www.charleyspaia.com

ALL ACCESS ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS

COYOTE UGLY GOMEGA KANOA’S 32ND BIRTHDAY BASH!

Music 10 PM - Close $7 COVER

VERSATILE

NO COVER!

FEATURING HENRY & ALAN KOA

SATURDAY SEPT 20

SUNDAY SEPT 21 Music 7PM - 10pm MONDAY SEPT 22 Music 9:30PM - 12am

$5 COVER

TUESDAY SEPT 23 Music 10 PM - Close

$5 COVER

WEDNESDAY SEPT 24

Music 9:30PM - Close NO COVER!

HAWAIIAN NIGHTS

YOAHMAMA

VOTED MAUI’S BEST MUSICIAN

KANOA FRIENDS THE PA‘IA ALL STARS AND

PAIA TOWN PAU HANA PARTY IS BACK WITH:


BY KATE BRADSHAW KATE@MAUITIME.COM

Rock today, Off Tomorrow

Gypsy rock Saturday (Sept. 20), 7:30-10:30pm, Café Marc Aurel, Wailuku

Saturday (Sept. 20), 10pm, Casanova, Makawao

[MUSIC] If you seek a dose of melodic, psychedelic folk-rock, then look no further than Café Marc Aurel this Saturday night. Mojomana’s influences are apparent. From their generally upbeat tunes you can pick up bits and pieces of the Velvet Underground, Mazzy Star, the Doors and, to some degree, the Grateful Dead. Singer Melissa M.’s vocals are comparable to those of (former Mazzy Star vocalist) Hope Sandoval, which is not a comparison/compliment I just throw around. Guitarist Rodney K’s snaking leads also invoke Mazzy Star, though I’d even compare them to the Doors’ Robby Krieger’s bottleneck slide leads (think “End of the Night” or “Moonlight Drive”). What distinguishes these guys from the abovementioned baroque pop mainstays is their backbone, also known as drummer Dan Minichiello. His upbeat style gives the music an element of danceability. Quite a rare sound that I wholeheartedly recommend you check out. Free.

[MUSIC] What stands out most about Off Tomorrow’s sound is its impossible catchiness. Throw in the band’s positive hybrid reggae/R&B/rock sounds and flawless harmonies and it’s no wonder these guys play all over the island. The guys, all six of them from a different village in Samoa, have been playing together as a band on Maui for years. The idea behind the band name comes from what Ilima Lokan, the band’s manager, calls a “backyard session,” during which one band member asked another, “you off tomorrow?” Saturday they play Casanova in Makawao. The venue’s huge dance floor makes it easier for attendees to legally groove to Off Tomorrow’s upbeat sound (as it is often hard to do, given the LC’s strict yet arbitrary rules about dancing at Maui County watering holes). $7.

DAY

➤➤➤➤➤MONDAY ➤➤➤➤➤TUESDAY ➤➤➤➤➤WEDNESDAY

In the heart of Olde Makawao Town

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY

MONDAYS

CASANOVA’S FAMOUS

LADIES NIGHT Q103 and the Big Hawaiian present ‘808 dopest djs’

Saturday September 20th

Dj Styles & DJ Jammin J

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA THE AWARDS

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” and “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI” Music Starts at 10:00pm $10 cover Friday September 19th THE

GROUCH with

Revolutionary Habit • Nohokai & Iamae Hooked on Phonics H.O.P. Mountain • Pure Entheos Music Starts at 10:00pm $20 cover $17 advance

Island Sounds - Island Beats Music Starts at 9:45pm $7 cover Sunday September 21st

MANA’O RADIO PRESENTS:

UPCOUNTRY SUNDAYS ACOUSTIC STYLE FEATURING:

Bobby Ingram Vince Esquire Dorothy Betz & Les Adam Joshua SHOW at 2pm- 5PM $7 Donation

Make it a memorable evening. Dine and dance at Casanova. For dinner reservations call 572-0220 www.casanovamaui.com

MARTY DREAD W7-9PM ON SUNSET PATIO SET

NE

10-12PM INSIDE ON STAGE

No Cover $5 Cover

THURSDAYS 10PM

SILKY RINGO NO

COVER

20% KAMA’AINA MAUI RESIDENTS RECEIVE: CANNOT BE USED WITH ALL ACCESS OR IN COMBINATION WITH ADDITIONAL DISCOUNT PROGRAMS. VALID ID REQUIRED.

OFF

ALL FOOD, NON- ALCOHOL BEVERAGE AND NON-CHARITY MERCHANDISE

900 FRONT STREET, LAHAINA • 667-7400

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

27


Big Shows

against a vivid backdrop. $12/$22/$32. 7:30 p.m.

sale 9/8. $55/$65/$75/$85. 7:30 p.m. Castle

Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

The Nellie Olsons - Thu, SEPT. 18. This cutting

Calling All Readers - Mon-Fri. Want to read for

Lulu Washington Dance Theatre - Thu, Oct

THURSDAY, SEPT. 18

edge sketch comedy trio returns to Maui for one

Maui On Stageís Bare Essential Theater? Roles are

night. You may want to leave the kids at home for

16. This act includes an exciting hybrid of African,

announced at monthly readings and scripts are

Come Out and Play - Elizabeth Ann Brandon,

modern, and other types of dances that has capti-

MA wants to make friends with your inner child

vated critics wherever it has performed. 7:30 p.m.

using cognitive therapy, hypnosis and transactional

this one. $20. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater,

MACC. 242-7469.

given out in advance. Call Kristi. 244-8680 x23. The Spirit of the Iao - Daily. The Iao Theater cel-

Kanoa’s Birthday Bash - Fri, SEPT. 19.

Events

Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

analysis. Free. 12-3 p.m. Dragon’s Den, Makawao.

The Wau Wau Sisters - Fri, Oct 17. Did you

573-2424.

ebrates 80 years of existence. Features production

Legendary (and MTW readers’ choice for best

written by Joel William Agnew and performances

band) Gomega will play Charley’s to celebrate band

by Rose Roselinski and Jerry Eiting as well as food

catch these broads when they came here last year?

Candidate Rally - Come and show your sup-

member Kanoa’s 32nd birthday. Free. 10 p.m.

by Hailiimaile General Store’s Bev Gannon and a

They were phenomenal. Their act incorporates

port for Hawaii House District 5 (South Maui) can-

Charley’s, Paia. 579-9668.

silent auction. $40 advance/$50 door. 7:30 p.m.; Su

unabashed sexuality, biting satire, audience partici-

didate Jan Shields. 5-8 p.m. Kihei Community

The Grouch - Fri, SEPT. 19. Conscious hip hop

Matinee, 5 p.m. Iao Theater, Wailuku. 242-6969.

pation, and probably a trapeze. Be prepared; these

Center. 879-4364.

Tickets on Sale

chicks are limber. $20. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater,

Budget Meeting - This one of the few chances

returns to Maui after a stint in Australia to show-

MACC. 242-7469.

you have to give your mana’o on where you think

case some tracks off his new album “Show You the

The Mick Fleetwood Blues Band - Fri, SEPT.

World.” (Perhaps his baby daughter inspired the

26. Former Fleetwood Mac drummer and guitarist

title?) Also playing are Oahu-based Hooked on

Mick Fleetwood and Rick Vito (respectively), along

Phonics and Maui-based acts Revolutionary Habitat

with bass player Lenny Castellanos and keyboardist

and Nohokai. $20. 10 p.m. Casanova, Makawao.

Mark Johnstone headline this benefit for the Maui

572-0220.

Arts and Cultural Center before heading off for their

Green Fashion on the Blue

Peace Day Festival - Sun, SEPT. 21. The inau-

European tour. Doors open at 5:30 p.m., where-

Sunday (Sept. 21), 10:30pm, Mulligan’s on the Blue, Wailea

gural Peace Day celebration will feature speeches

upon food and drink will be available. (Important:

from Mayor Charmaine Tavares and Ram Dass and

there will be a dance floor, got me?) $25. 7:30 p.m.

musical performances by Marty Dread, Africa’s

Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Zuni, Robin Youngblood & Pueo Native American

Uluwehi

Drum Circle, Sundance Maui Taiko Drummers,

Kauluokala; - Sat, SEPT. 27. Award-winning Male

Leiohu Ryder, and more. Insert brown acid joke

Vocalist Uluwehi Guerrero, Halau Hula Kauluokala

here. Or not. Free. 1 p.m.-Sunset. Keopuolani

and over 150 dancers will perform “Home is where

Park, Kahului.

the Heart is,” which celebrates Hawaiian music and

artist the Grouch (aka Corey of Living Legends)

Guerrero

and

Halau

Hula

Cabaret Photo Shoot and Dance Party -

culture. $12/$25/$30. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater,

Tue, SEPT. 23. The lovelies of clever Maui-based

MACC. 242-7469.

neo burlesque troupe Kit Kat Club will give you a

Styx - Fri, Oct 10. It’s rare for a band of such

taste of their take on this delightfully kitschy art

stature to perform on Maui. This classic prog rock

form. A pretty killer way to spend a Tuesday night.

band’s well-known tunes include “Come Sail

7 p.m. Cafe Marc Aurel, Wailuku. 244-0852.

Away” and “Lady.” Can’t miss it. Tickets go on sale 9/8. $55/$65/$75/$85. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater,

Stage

MACC. 242-7469.

Casting Call - Iao Theater is calling for people of

Kahekili - Sat, Oct 11. Hula master Hokulani Holt

all ages to come audition for "A Christmas Story."

will the story of Mauiís great chief Kahekili in an

Script is available ahead of time upon request. Keiki

original hula drama that includes chant, traditional

auditions start at 11:30 am, adults at 12:45. Walk-

hula kahiko, Hawaiian martial arts, and dramatic sto-

ins are welcome on a space available basis. Iao

rytelling. $12/$25/$40. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater,

Theatre, Wailuku. 244-8680.

MACC. 242-7469.

Lakota Sioux Dance Theatre - Sat. Native

Kool & the Gang - Wed, Oct 15. This

American dance company will perform the power-

R&B/funk/jazz group is more than an ultra-cool

ful Cokata Upo!: Come to the Center, which cele-

name. It’s hard to tell whether they will bust out

brates Lakota culture with traditional pow-wow

with “Jungle Boogie,” but if you are jonesin’ for a

dance, sacred songs, legends and creation stories,

dose of the funk this is your best bet. Tickets go on

28

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

BONUS

PICKS!

[FASHION] So the Dow tanked 500 points last Monday. The job market is dismal at best. You drop fifty bucks every time you go to the grocery store no matter how much you buy. Why go on about the shitty economy? The point is, darling, that you may want to think about your financial health. Also, we’ve been laughing at you behind your back for spending $250 on a wallet. Not sure where to turn? Well, ultra-chic consignment boutiques like Elise in Kahului may be answer. This place has some pretty killer deals on items ranging from understated to funky. This Sunday the store will be showcasing its wares by way of a fashion show. Drown your financial woes in a cosmo and check out the many hip, elegant, funky etc. things that can be found at this Alamaha St. boutiqe, accessories and all. $5.

Hair peace, bed peace, Maui peace Sunday (Sept. 21), 1pm-sunset, Keopuolani Ampitheater [FESTIVAL] At this moment I am very proud of Maui County Council. They have actually gone through the trouble of drawing up a proclamation declaring September 21st as “Peace Day,” for the county, which corresponds with the United Nations’ International Day of Peace. Not that I think they’re a bunch of squares, but declaring anything in a straightforward way is pretty uncharacteristic of elected officials. This Sunday’s Peace Fest will serve as the inaugural Maui Peace Day celebration. It will feature musical performances by acts from across the globe, including Zuni (from Africa), Robin Youngblood & Pueo Native American drum circle, Sundance Maui Taiko Drummers, and Maui’s own Marty Dread and Leiohu Ryder. Slated to speak are Maui County Mayor Charmaine Tavares and spiritual leader Ram Dass. There will, of course, be food, keiki activities, and charitable organization booths. Stand and be counted. Free.


DA KINE CALENDAR

BY KATE BRADSHAW CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

your county tax dollars should be going...but do

Habitat for Humanity - Spend a few hours

you have the guts?. 5:30-8 p.m. Wailuku

helping a family in need get secure shelter. 9 a.m.

Community Center. 270-7389.

Call for details. 893-0334.

Valley Isle Kennel Club Meeting - A chance

Hula Classes - Hula Classes - Every Sat. Halau

to talk story, plan events, and network with other

Kawaianuhealehua holds open hula classes for chil-

breeders (dog breeders, or course). 6-8 p.m.

dren, teen and adult wahines and kanes. 9 a.m.

Cameron Center, Wailuku. 808-242-1962.

Maui Waena School.

Cinema Night - Cafe Mambo will be hosting an

Hula Show - Get a taste of Hawaiian history and

evening of classic and cult classic films for the 21

culture. Free. 1 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului. 877-8952.

and older crowd. This week’s flick is American

Old Hawaii at Kaluani - Come celebrate the

Gangster. 9:30 p.m. Cafe Mambo, Paia. 579-8021.

Hawaii of yesterday - Upcountry style - with food

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make

catered by Celebrations Catering, entertainment by

something beautiful. Sugar cube, 11 a.m.; Dazzling

the Hula Honeys, and a no-host bar. $75. 5-9 p.m.

daisies, 3 p.m.; Hawaiian quilt, 6 p.m. Maui Bead

Hui No`eau Visual Arts Center, Makawao. 572-

Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

6560 ext 33.

FRIDAY, SEPT.. 19 about ways to pursue that degree you’ve been thinking about pursuing as well as other UH programs. 9:30 a.m.-12 p.m. Longs, Kihei. 875-5979. Biofeedback - Mary Higgins, QXC/SCIO practitioner, helps you energetically rebalance after living yet another day in a toxin-filled world. Walk-ins only. Sliding scale pricing. 2-5 p.m. Dragon’s Den.

must if you’re jonesin’ for swing. $15. 7:30 p.m.

Makawao Union Church Hall, 1445 Baldwin Ave., Makawao. Somos Amigos - Come celebrate Maui’s Hispanic cultural heritage at this all-day celebration.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

You can count on excellent music and phenomenal

Makena NORTH Golf Course

food. 242-1560. Maui Mall, Kahului. 242-1560. Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make

ing prospective employers and interviewing. Free. 3-5 p.m. Job Connections of Maui. 871-4143. Shakin’ Keiki - Come see little hula dancers in adorable outfits doing the cultural dance of their

something beautiful. Basic earring, 11 a.m.; Quick

SUNDAY, SEPT. 21 Tantra Temple Services - Embrace the spiritu-

Front St. 667-9216.

al essence of all faiths with tantra, an ancient high-

Economic Systems Readers Circle - Do you

spiritual practice. Free. 10 a.m. 2138 Vineyard St.,

have a passion for all things economic? Come to

Wailuku. 244-4103.

this discussion to chat about economics with other

Hula Show - Get a taste of Hawaiian history and

people who share your interest. Free. 7:35 p.m.

culture. Free. 1 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului. 877-8952.

Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 573-3250.

Fashion Show - Mega-hip consignment bou-

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make

tique Elise will showcase the many creative

something beautiful. Charm bracelet, 11 a.m.;

ensembles it offers at mega-hip Irish bar Mulligan’s

Bouquet ring, 3 p.m.; Wire wrapping, 6 p.m. Maui

on the Blue. Come see what you’ve been missing.

Bead Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

Local band D.U.H. will play. 10:30 p.m. Mulligans

Saturday, so there’s really no excuse not to vote.

• Four Player Teams • Modified Scramble • Golf Contests & Competitions • Auction & Door Prizes

GREAT PRIZES including a 2008 Ford EDGE and much, much more!

on the Blue, Wailea. 893-5473. Drum Cirlcle - Bring your drum and beat away

Primary Elections - Yes, it’s a primary, but it’s on a

Shotgun Start at 7:30 a.m. Lunch at the Maui Prince Hotel

cluster, 3 p.m.; Silk knotting, 6 p.m. Maui Bead

Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

ancestors. Free. 3:30 p.m. Lahaina Center, 900

SATURDAY, SEPT. 20

Presented by our Title Sponsor

including Ellington and Gershwin. This is a serious

573-2424. Job Club - Get help preparing resumes, contact-

Benefit Golf Tournament

Jazz, Bebop and Swing! - The Olina Chorale will be performing selections from Jazz greats

UH Informational Display - Come find out

2008 ANNUAL

with others in the community. Free. 4 p.m.-sunset.

Kihei. 298-9022.

PROCEEDS BENEFIT THE BOYS & GIRLS CLUBS OF MAUI

Races include County Council seats for Lanai, West Maui, and South Maui; State House seats for Districts 8, 11, 12, and 13 (Kahului/Waikapu, South Maui, Upcountry, and North Shore/Hana/Molokai/Lanai,

Sunset Drum Circle - Come and drum, dance and shake it on the beach with Omzone. Free. 4:20

Tournament Sponsors:

p.m. Kamaole Point. 298-9022.

respectively); and State Senate for District 5 (West

Israeli Dance - Learn traditional and modern

and South Maui). Democracy is like advertising: if you

International and Israeli dances. Free. 4:30-6 p.m.

ignore it, it goes away. All day. Various locations

Grace Church, Kulu. 264-5214.

throughout Maui.

Line Dancing - Practice your tush push ya’ll and

Swap Meet - I’ve always wanted to unearth

come on down for some line dancing by the Maui

some totally awesome treasure at a random flea

Paniolo Posse. Lessons: 6:30 p.m.; Dancing: 7 p.m.

market. This might be a good place to start.

Lahaina Cannery Mall.

Admission: 50 cents. 7 a.m.-12 p.m. Pu`unene

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make

Ave., Kahului. 877-3100.

something beautiful. Learn basic crimping meth-

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

29


DA KINE CALENDAR

BY KATE BRADSHAW CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ods, 11 a.m.; Wire wrapping: 2 p.m. Maui Bead

Toastmasters - Perfect your public speaking

Makawao, 9 a.m.-12. TUE - Kehekili Park Terrace,

Manta Ray Lecture - Thu. Researcher Tim Clark

Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

skills in this community club. 9 a.m., Kapalua Land

Wailuku, 3-5 p.m. WED - Baha’i Faith Maui Center,

will give a talk on the Manta Rays of Hawaii. Learn

Co. training center, 665-5485; 6 p.m., St. Theresa

9 a.m.-12 p.m.; Honokowai Kau Hale, 2:30-4:30

about the lives of these majestic creatures as well

Church, Kihei, 298-3966.

p.m.; Ka Hale A Ke Ola, Wailuku, 4-6 p.m. FRI -

as the factors that threaten them. 6-7 p.m. Pacific

Haiku Boy’s and Girl’s Club, 3-5 p.m. For more info

Whale Foundation’s Discovery Center, Ma`alaea.

call 661-0111.

249-8811.

Kids Love Stories - Tue. So bring them down to

Tibetan Lama Lecture - Fri. Anam Thubten will

listen at Lahaina’s biggest bookstore. Free. 10-

give a talk that will give a talk that will challenge

10:30 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina. 662-1300.

your concept of reality as you know it. And why

West Side Storytime - Every Tue & Sat.

not? Free. 7 p.m. Studio Maui, Haiku. 572-7845.

Lahaina’s newest bookseller is hosting keiki story

Climate Crisis Slide Show - Tue. Come find

time, so get them hooked on reading early. Tue., 10

out how climate change is affecting us globally as

a.m.; Sat., 11 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina.

well as locally from this interesting visual presenta-

Keiki Shots - Wed. (Central Maui) Bring children

tion. Attendance is free, but RSVP is required. 7-9

MONDAY, SEPT. 22 Senior Line Dancing - Line dance lessons for people 55 or better. 8:30-10 a.m. Kaunoa Senior

WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 24 Ayurvedic Consultations - Margo P. Uma Gal,

Center, Sprecklesville. 270-7313. Neuro Cognitive Differences Anonymous - A support group for people with memory, attention, concentration, organization, language, learning, or similar cognitive impairment. 10:30 a.m.11:30 a.m. St. Theresa Church, Kihei. 879-2649.

CAP., offers up wisdom on diet and lifestyle from over 20 years of experience as an Ayurvedic Practitioner. Walk-ins only. Free. 10:30 a.m.-1 p.m.

Makawao. 572-2424. General Plan Public Forum - The Wailuku Main Street Association and the Tri-Isle Main Street

Pipe Up - No experience is needed for drummers and bagpipers at these open, free lesson and practices for the Isle of Maui Pipe Band. 6 p.m. Call for

Direction. 876-0154.

Resource Center will host a discussion on the impact of the General Plan on small towns and rural areas. Part of a three-part series on the the topic, the public is invited to participate in this event. Call

up to the age of 18 without medical insurance in for

p.m. Maui Individualized Learning Center, 1464

vaccinations. Bring all immunization records. Walk-

Lower Main, Wailuku. 244-6119.

in basis. Free. 12-3 p.m. Wailuku Health Center.

Real Estate Industry Discussion - Tue. Find

984-8260.

out about the various factors contributing to our

Keiki Issues? - Thu. The Parent Project, a pro-

not-so-sunny real estate market conditions, includ-

gram for parents of strong willed children. Wrestle

ing foreclosures and fraud. 8:30-10 a.m. Pono

adorable outfits doing the cultural dance of their

the phone away from the child and make that call.

Center Training Room, Wailuku. 341-8547.

square dancers to show off their moves. Free. 7

ancestors. Free. 2:30 p.m. Lahaina Center, 900

Free. 6:30-8:30 p.m. Hui Malama Learning Center.

Families With Mental Illness Course - Wed.

p.m. Hannibal Tavares Community Center,

Front St. 667-9216.

289-5050.

Course aims to help families of individuals with

Budget Meeting - Come exercise your right to

La-ti-Da Music for Families - Thu. La-ti-Da

serious mental illness. Free. 5-7:30 p.m. Cameron

Free Beading Classes - Learn new skills and be

free speech and speak your mana’o on where you

Toddler classes are specially designed for ages 5

Center, Wailuku. 572-3757.

creative. Hawaiian quilt, 11 a.m.; Charm bracelet; 3

believe your county tax dollars should - or shouldn’t -

months - 5 yrs and the people who take care of

p.m.; Basic earrings, 6 p.m. Maui Bead Shack,

go. 5:45-8 p.m. Paia Community Center. 270-7855.

them. Discover how creative musical movement

Women Helping Women - A support group for

to reserve a space. Lunch will be available for $10

women affected by domestic violence. 6 p.m.

(or you can brown bag it. Free. 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m.

Kihei, call for details. 242-0775.

Good Shepherd Church Hall, Wailuku. 244-3888.

High Hopes Square Dance Club - A place for

Shakin’ Keiki - Come see little hula dancers in

beginners to pick up some steps and seasoned

Pukalani. 572-0671.

Wailuku

Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

Community

Association

Meeting - Find out the latest on Wailuku town.

TUESDAY, SEPT. 23

Agenda items include a First Friday Committee

Non-Profit Polynesian Dance - Support the

update, Fall Newsletter, Board Insurance and

kids of the Napili Kai Foundation by watching their Polynesian dance show. $10 adults, $5 kids. 5:30 p.m. 669-6271. Maui Singles Investment Club - This event gives Maui singles a chance to mingle while learning about investments. 5:30-7 p.m. Cary & Eddie’s

Hideaway, Kahului. 579-9249. Ukulele Lessons - Learn some strumming techniques to impress you friends with. Free. 5:45 p.m.

want their county tax dollars to go - and what’s at

Israeli Fold Dancing group. Free. . 8 p.m. Jewish

minute dates. Who knows, you could find true

ming with renowned African drummer Xavier Eikerenkoetter. Beginner’s class goes from 12:452:45; intermediate class goes from 3:45-5:45.

Park, Wailuku.

Drum rental: $5. $18 donation/class. 12:45-5:45

WOW! - Every Wed. Wailea on Wednesdays pres-

Toddler Story Time - Thu. Brush up on the lat-

p.m. Studio Maui, Haiku. 575-9390.

ents live island music, gallery receptions, artist

est in children’s books with your little one. Free. 10

AMOS Space Surveillance Conference -

appearances and more. . 6:30-8 p.m. 897-6770 x2.

a.m. Makawao Public Library. 573-8785.

Daily. Interested in the way military, contractor, and

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make

Saturday Stories - Sat. Bring the kids down to

academic entities interact to determine our posi-

something beautiful. Quick cluster, 11 a.m.; Silk

Lahaina’s biggest bookstore for stories and special

tion in the universe? Here’s your chance to find out.

knotting, 3 p.m.; Basic earring, 6 p.m. Maui Bead

events. Free. 11 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina.

Conference will take place over five days. Call or

Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

662-1307.

visit www.amostech.com for schedule/more

Yu-Gi-Oh - Sat. Little gamester get out your cards

details. Various times. Wailea Beach Marriott

and get ready for a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament! Free. 3

Resort & Spa. 875-2300.

Farlington Rabbit - Wed. The kids will love this

p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-4766.

Meditation Workshop - Daily. Anam Thubten

charming musical full of adorable characters. Free.

Yo Yo Workshop & Demo - Sun. Yo Yo’s are

will lead guided meditations throughout this retreat

2 p.m. Wailuku Public Library. 243-5766.

silent, so encourage your kids to learn how to use

that will help to deconstruct fact barriers and help

After-School Help - Mon-Fri. Hui Malama

them and finally get some peace and quiet! Free. 4-

you internalize the teachings of the Buddha. Call for

Learning Center offers after-school homework help

5 p.m. Maui Toy Works. 661-5304.

and classes. Call for directions and hours. 244-5911.

Congregation of Maui, Kihei. 280-1051. Speed Dating - Sit down for a round of three-

280-2784.

the intricacies of traditional Malinke African drum-

10 a.m. Hawaiian Village Coffee, Kahana. 665-1114.

stake. 5:45-8 p.m. Lahaina Civic Center. 270-7855. Folk Dancing - Shake it folk style with the Maui

Sept. 25- Nov. 20th. 9 a.m. The Studio Maui, Haiku.

African Drumming Workshop - Sat. Learn

upcoming Holiday Events. 6-7 p.m. Banyan Tree

Keiki

Enders to put their two cents in on where they

and encourages natural curiosity. Every Thursday

Workshops

Story Time - Thu. Keiki story time and crafts. Free.

Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-5304. Budget Meeting - Here’s a chance for West

enriches physical strength, builds self confidence,

Keiki Chess Club - Mon. For little masterminds

Athletic Club Outreach - Every Tue & Thu. Got

age 7-12. Free. 2:30-4 p.m. Makawao Public

tough kids? Get them instruction on Olympic

Library. 573-5313.

weightlifting, power lifting, body building and

times and admission fees. Rinzai Zen Mission,

Baldwin Beach. 572-7845.

Environment Maalaea Harbor Cleanup - Sat. Part of the

sports-specific weight training by an experienced

Lecture

spend a whole second date with. Registration: $5.

team of coaches. Ages 11-19. Free. 4:45-6 p.m. St.

Bee Aware - Thu. Bees are an integral part of our

8 p.m. Wow-Wee Maui Kava Bar & Grill, Kahului.

Mark

environment...so where are they all going? Veteran

871-1414.

Episcopal Church, Wailuku. 244-4656.

beekeeper Dennis Morihiro will explain the secret

Foundation, Maalaea. 249-8811.

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make

Free Keiki Art Classes - Every Mon, Tue, Wed

lives of bees and the things humans do that threat-

Olowalu Volunteer Work Day - Sat. Come

something beautiful. Bouquet ring, 11 a.m.; Sugar

& Fri. Lahaina Arts Society offers free children’s art

en their very existence. This is one of the most fas-

help remove non-native plant species from this cul-

cube, 3 p.m.; Basic crimping, 6 p.m. Maui Bead

classes island wide. MON - Lahaina Surf Hawaiian

cinating lectures this island has seen. 6-8 p.m.

turally-rich preserve. Meet at the Wailuku end of the

Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

Housing, 3-5 p.m. & Baha’i Faith Maui Center,

Kamehameha School, Pukalani. 573-7000.

Olowalu store, and bring a lunch, gloves, sun-

love... or at least someone you might want to

30

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Weightlifting

Hall,

Good

Shepherd

“Get the Drift and Bag It” program. Gloves, trash bags and refreshments will be provided by Pacific Whale Foundation. 8:30-11:30 a.m. Pacific Whale


DA KINE CALENDAR

BY KATE BRADSHAW CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

screen, and gardening tools. 7-11 a.m. Olowalu

Volunteer on Vacation - Sat. Get to know

Tai Chi - Every Mon & Fri. Get your Tai Chi in dur-

Cultural Reserve. 214-8778.

Maui better by volunteering time to one of many

ing your lunchbreak with Dr. Lorrin Pang. Free.

Sea Talk with George Kahumoku - Tue. Part

important environmental projects. Meet local

noon-12:45 p.m. State Building Plaza, Wailuku.

two of a workshop wherein Grammy-winning com-

experts and learn about the history and environ-

984-8200.

poser and all-around great guy George Kahumoku

ment of the land and get a free t-shirt from the

help participants write an ocean-themed tune.

Pacific Whale

Does not require attendance at previous workshop,

Honokowai. 249-8811.

Volleyball Day - Sat. Bump, set, spike! Free. 1

Resort south lobby. 879-1922.

though reservations are required. Free. 6 p.m.

Save the Forest - Sun. The Pacific Whale

p.m. Kamaole III Beach Park, Kihei.

Ohana Farmers & Crafters Market - Every

Maui Ocean Center, Open Ocean Exhibit,

Foundation is hosting a group of ten volunteers to

Maui AIDS Foundation Open House - Sun.

Tue, Wed & Fri. 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Queen Ka’ahumanu

Ma`alaea. 270-7089.

pull invasive pine trees near Hosmers Grove.

Informal gathering featuring wine, pupus, talk story

Shopping Center. 877-3369.

Foundation!.

9

a.m.-3

Ho`olokahi Arts & Crafts Fair - Every Tue & Fri. Fresh flower lei-making classes from 9-11 a.m.

Mahu

p.m.

Farmers market, Art/Craft Fairs on Fridays. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Wailea Beach Marriott

Save Honolua - Tue. Meeting to inform, educate

Transportation is provided. Bring warm clothes,

and an office tour. Call for details. MAF Office, 135

Farmers Market of Maui - Every Mon, Wed &

and involve the community on the proposed devel-

long pants and closed boots. Pick ups: 7:30 a.m.,

Main St., Suite 101, Wailuku. 242-4900, Ext. 226.

Fri. Sample the goods at this local market for fresh

opment of Honolua Bay. 6:45 p.m. Lahaina Civic

Harbor Shop, 300 Ma`alaea Rd; 8:15 a.m.,

Speed Dating - Mon. Dance party to follow. 8

produce. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. 61 S. Kihei Rd.

Center. 870-0052.

Upcountry Tavares Community Center. RSVP

p.m. Wow-wee Maui’s Kava Bar, Kahului. 871-1414.

Honokowai Farmers Market - Every Mon, Wed

Art

& Fri. Lots of fresh local produce plus baked and

Figurative Art/Sculpture Show - Daily.

Resort Craft Fair - Every Wed & Fri. Hawaiian

Figurative artist Kirk Kurokawa and classically

arts and crafts. 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Renaissance Wailea

Beach Resort.

Smarter than a Sand Crab? - Mon-Fri. Get

856-8341.

free info about marine life and answers to all those

Sports

pesky questions that keep you up all night. The

canned goods. 7-11 a.m. Lower Honoapiilani Hwy.

Pacific Whale Foundation Marine Naturalists are

Maui Croquet Club - Every Sun, Tue & Thu. You

definitely smarter than a fifth grader. The question

could be an amazing croquet player and not even

trained sculptor Kim Mosley are showcasing their

is, are you?. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Ulua Beach, Wailea.

know it. No mallet? No problem. 2-5 p.m.

latest creations at Viewpoints Gallery in Makawao

249-8811.

Waipuilani Park, Kihei. 879-0087.

in an extraordinary exhibit of palette and chisel.

Building supplies - Every Wed, Thu, Fri & Sat.

Pool Hours - Daily. Pool Hours - Besides the fear

Viewpoints

Spring cleaning! Donate new and nearly new

of contracting super-strain ukuís, I really enjoy a

Makawao, HI, 96768. 575-9190.

building materials or purchase them at reduced

good swim in a public pool. Sometimes the

Art Night - Fri. Stroll through dozens of art gal-

prices. Volunteers needed to stock, display and

thought of dealing with sand is just too much to

leries in Lahaina Town. Special gallery shows, fea-

price merchandise. Reduce the amount of usable

bear. Kahului, Kihei, Lahaina, War Memorial,

tured artists-in-action and refreshments. Free. 6:30

building materials going into the landfill. 9 a.m.-4

Pukalani, anthe Old and New Wailuku Pools: M-W,

p.m. Lahaina. 661-6284.

p.m. Habitat for Humanity, Market St., Wailuiku.

F, S 9 a.m-4 p.m.; Th 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m.; Sun 12-4:30

986-8050.

p.m. These hours can change due to events. To dou-

Weed and Pot Club - Wed. Did that get your

ble check you can call, 270-6135.

attention? Push up your sleeves and rake, hoe and

Paddling for Breast Cancer Survivors -

seafaring and mythical sea creatures. This exhibi-

Open Mic - Every night is open mic night at

pull weeds in a beautiful garden setting. Tools,

Every Mon & Wed. Get together with other sur-

tion

Hawaiian Village Coffee. Kahana Gateway location,

gloves and drinking water provided. Bring sun-

vivors for canoe paddling. Free. 6:45 a.m. Kihei

Polynesians. 4-7:30 p.m. Maui Hands Gallery,

call 665-1114.

screen and tennis shoes. 8:30 a.m. Maui Nui

Canoe Club. 243-2999.

Lahaina. 667-9898.

Express Yourself - Every Mon. Open Mic Night

Botanical Gardens, Kahului. 249-2798.

Sunset Yoga - Thu. Beginners are welcome for

Art Bistro - Mon. Local artists display their wares,

with music, song, poetry! Free. 7 p.m., Cafe Marc

Coastal Restoration - Fri. Habitat restoration at

this free oceanfront yoga session, which is happen-

from photography and painting to jewelry and sculp-

Aurel, Wailuku, 244-0852.

Waihe`e coastal dunes with Maui Coastal Land

ing every Thursday in September. 6-7:30 p.m. Blue

tures. Live music, too. 5-10pm. Jacques Northshore

Poetry Reading - Every second Tue, read your

Trust. 8 a.m.-12 p.m. Waihe`e. 244-5263.

Lotus Room, Kihei. 280-5378.

Bistro, 120 Hana Hwy. Paia. 808-269-0961.

original work, your favorite poem, or just come to

Gallery,

3620

Baldwin

Aloha Craft Fair - Fri. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Maui Mall.

872-4320.

Ave., KBH Craft Fair - Fri. Cultural crafts and live demos. 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Ka`anapali Beach Hotel

lobby. 667-5978. Organic Farmers Market - Sat. Fresh produce that’s cheaper than the grocery store. 6:30 a.m.noon. Eddie Tam Memorial Center.

Myths of the Seven Seas - Fri. Internationally

Poetry

renowned artist Steve Sundram will display a body of work that explore humanity’s fascination with

focuses

on

the

voyages

of

ancient

M Mau aui’s i’s B Bes estt M ga ta s Mar ar gari ri ta & Sun setss +&FrS seip tss eeunCh +& FrS eealCh saips

Wednesdays

Special Guest DJs 9pm-Close 21 & Over No Cover

Fr ’s Fred edMy ’s Kis My Kisss Ta Taco co Tu da Tues es days ys $2.95 & $2.95 & $3. $3.95 95 tac tacos os ++ 20o 20oz. z. Bud Bud Lig Light ht Dra Drafts fts $4. $4.95 95

844 FRONT ST., LAHAINA • 667-7758

2511 S. KIHEI RD., KIHEI • 891-8600

2511 S. KIHEI RD., KIHEI • 891-8600 MAUI TIME WEEKLY

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

31


DA KINE CALENDAR

BY KATE BRADSHAW CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

be inspired. Free. 6:30 p.m., Lahaina Public

Kimo’s - Mon- Wed, Sat, Sun, Sam Ahia. Fri,

Library, 662-3950.

deAquino Bradaz. All sets 6:30-8:30 p.m. 845 Front

Open Mind Open Mic - Every Mon. Open Mind

St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

Open Mic with spoken word, poetry, comedy—

Leilani’s On The Beach - Fri, Scott Baird;. Sat,

whatever you have to say here’s your chance. Free.

JD and Harry; Sun, Kilohana. All sets 2:30-5 p.m.

6 p.m., Moana Bakery, Paia, 244-9091.

2435 Ka`anapali Pkwy, Building J, 661-4495.

Open Mic - Every Saturday the Maui Media Lab

Moose McGillycuddy’s, Lahaina - Fri, Llayne

hosts an open mic night for poets, muscicians and

& Pro Ed; Sat, Mark & Mike. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844

others who want to be heard. Sessions are record-

Front St., 667-7758.

ed and fed to the internet. All ages are welcome. Free. 6-9 p.m., Maui Media Lab, Baldwin Ave,

UPCOUNTRY MAUI

Larry Golis; Sun, Margie Heart; Mon, Ernest Puaa; Hana Hou Cafe - Wed, Dorothy Betz and Les

Tue, Brian Haia; Wed, Pam Peterson. Tue-Sun

Adam with Vince Esquire. Thu, Haiku Hillbillys. Sat,

shows, 6-9 p.m. Mon, 5:30-9 p.m.

Live music. All sets 6:30-9:30 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd,

Haiku Cannery, 575-2661.

Pua`a. Early sets 3-6 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Fri, Wed,

Paia, 579-8844.

Benny Uyetake; Sat, Tue, Mitch Kepa; Sun, Steve

Morning Glories Organic Internet Cafe -

Sargenti; Mon, Josh Kahula. Late sets 6-9 p.m.

Billy Bones; Wed, Greg Di Piazza. All sets 6-8 p.m.

658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636. Sea

House

Cafe

&

Bakery - Wed, Benoit

Restaurant - Thu & Fri,

Hawaiian with Jocelyn, all sets 6:30-8:30. Sat, Live

2:30 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

Andrew Kaina; Mon, Albert Kaina, Tue,

RESORT SHOWS

except Sat. 7-9 p.m. Sat set is 6:30-9p.m.

WEST MAUI

Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapi`ilani

■ HYATT REGENCY MAUI RESORT & SPA

p.m., 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 667-5555.

Rd., Napili, 669-1500.

200 Nohea Kai Dr, Lahaina, 661-1234

Lulu’s - Wed, 7 p.m., 1941 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9944.

SOUTH MAUI

Weeping Banyan Lounge - Nightly, Live music.

Sansei - Thu-Fri, 10 p.m., 600 Office Road,

Kapalua, 669-6286; Thu-Sat, 10 p.m. Kihei Town

Longhi’s - Sat, acoustic music. 10:30-11 p.m.

3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891-8883

Center, 879-0004. Tiffany’s - Daily, 9:30 p.m., 1424 L. Main St.,

Ma`alaea Grill - Thu, Fri, Sat, Benoit Jazz Works. All sets 6:30-9 p.m. Maalaea Harbor, 243-2206.

Wailuku, 249-0052. Tip Up’s Tavern - Mon, 9:30 p.m., 1279 S. Kihei

Mulligan’s on the Blue - Fri, Gail Swanson; 6-

Lobby Lounge - (Early sets) Thu, Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran; Sat, Mon, Island Style Trio with hula dancing. Early sets 5:30-7:30 p.m. (Followed

Mortensen and George Tavoularis; Sat, Mon, Nils and Anastasia; Sun, Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria;

Kincaid Basques; Wed, Albert Kaina. All sets

Kobe Japanese Steakhouse - Fri-Sat, 9:30

Rd., Kihei, 874-1811.

3900 Wailea Alanui, 874-8000

by) Thu, Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson; Fri, Clay

Kincaid Basques; Sa,-Coelho Morrison; Su,

Isana Restaurant - Daily, 9 p.m. 515 S. Kihei

■ FOUR SEASONS RESORT WAILEA

Jazzworks; Thu Mark Johnstone, Fri, Classic

jazz music with Mark Johnstone & Friends, 12:30 -

West side. Free. 6:30- 9 p.m. Lahaina, 661-0517

SOUTH MAUI

p.m.137 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-6009.

p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661-8881. Pioneer Inn - Thu, Ah-Tim Eleniki; Tue, Captain

KARAOKE

Mon, Marvin Tevaga; Sun, Josh Kahula; Tue, Ernest

Jacque’s - Mon, Live Jazz. 5 p.m. 120 Hana Hwy,

Moana

Poets Society hosts an open poetry reading on the

Tropica - (Early sets) Thu, Wed, Brian Haia; Fri, Sat,

Fri, Elaine Ryan, 3-4 p.m.; Mon, Karen B, 1-2 Mulligan’s on the Wharf - Fri, AnRil. All sets 7

zumatribe@yahoo.com. Poetry Reading - Every second Thu Maui Live

Ono Bar & Grille - Thu, Sat, Steve Sargenti; Fri,

Wed, Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata. Late sets 8:30-11:30 p.m. Torchlighting ceremony nightly. ■ GRAND WAILEA RESORT HOTEL & SPA

3850 Wailea Alanui, 875-1234

All sets 6:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony

Botero Bar - Wed, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music.

nightly.

Humuhumunukunukuapua`a - Nightly, 5:30

■ KAANAPALI BEACH CLUB

p.m., Strolling Hawaiian Duo.

104 Ka`anapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000

■ THE FAIRMONT KEA LANI MAUI

Ohana Bar & Grill - Wed, Thu, Live music; Fri,

4100 Wailea Alanui, 875-4100

Patrick Major; Sun, Wayne and Friends; Mon, Tue,

Lobby Bar - Nightly, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music.

Ernest Pua`a. All sets 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting

■ THE SHOPS AT WAILEA

ceremony nightly.

3750 Wailea Alanui

■ KA`ANAPALI BEACH HOTEL

East Wing - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Marti Kluth.

2525 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0011

Lower Courtyard - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Jamie

Kenny Roberts. All sets 4-6 p.m. 1913 Kihei Rd.,

Kupanaha - Nightly, Hula show, 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Lawerence and Friends.

Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444.

Tiki Courtyard - Nightly, Alanui with Uncle Rudi;

■ WAILEA MARRIOTT

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Wed-Fri, John Kane;

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café - Sun, Mon,

Sun, Hula show. All sets 6:30 p.m.

3700 Wailea Alanui, 879-1922

Sat, Harry Troupe; Sun, Greg DiPiazza; Mon, Tue,

Brittany; Wed, Sat, Merv Oana Thu; Fri Margie; Tue

■ NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT

Kumu Bar & Grill - Nightly, Hula dancing. 6-9 p.m.

Marvin Tevaga. All sets 7:30-9:30 p.m. 730 Front

Jamie Lawrence. All sets 6-10 p.m. The Shops at

5900 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Napili, 669-1500

Mele Mele Lounge - Nighly, Live music. 9-11 p.m.

St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

Wailea, 875-9983.

Thu, Kincaid and Albert; Fri, Sat, Mon, Tue, Kincaid

■ MAUI PRINCE HOTEL

Cheeseburger In Paradise - Mon, Tue, Scotty

Tradewinds Poolside Cafe - Thu, Kawika

Basques; Sun, Kapule Paoa; Wed, Albert Kaina. All

5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111

Rotten; Wed, Fri, Harry Troupe; Thu, Sat, Sun,

Lum Ho; Fri, Kaleo Cullen; Sat, Louise

sets 7-9 p.m.

Molokini Lounge - Mon, Wed, Fri, Sat, Mele

Brooks McGuire. All sets 4:30-10:30 p.m. 811 Front

Lambert; Sun, Mon, Kenny Roberts; Tue,

■ RITZ CARLTON

`Ohana Duo. Tue, Thu Ron Kuala’au; Sun-Thu sets 6-

St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

Ramen & Cora; Wed, Keoki Ruiz. All sets 6-9

1 Ritz Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200

9 p.m.; Fri, Sat sets 6-10 p.m. Sun, Mele `Ohana

Compadres - Tue, 4 p.m., Live music. Lahaina

p.m. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei

Cannery Mall, 661-7189.

Rd., 874-6284.

8 p.m.; Sat, Sun, Celtic Tigers; Mon, Gypsy Pacific;

Rd., 874-9299.

7 p.m. Tue, Randall Rospond; 6:30-8:30 p.m. 100 Unisan - Thu-Sat, 9:30 p.m., 2102 Vineyard St.,

Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

Wailuku, 244-4500. South Shore Tiki Lounge - Thu, Sun, Tue, Tony;

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI

Fri, Eclipse; Sat, Erin Smith; Mon, Kanoa; Wed,

Pae 6:15-9:45 p.m.

CENTRAL MAUI

Cool Cat Cafe - Thu, Erin Smith; Fri, Sat, Dave

Banyan Tree Restaraunt - Wed & Thu, Ranga

■ ROYAL LAHAINA RESORT

Carroll; Sun, Wed, Whale Sharks; Mon, Mickie

Duo, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Mon, Wed, Fri, Hula performance, 6-6:45 p.m.

EAST MAUI

Café Marc Aurel - Tue, Live Music; Mon, Open

2780 Keka`a Dr., Ka`anapali, 661-3611

■ HOTEL HANA-MAUI

Mic Night. 7:30 p.m. 28 N. Market St., Wailuku,

Royal Ocean Terrace - Thu, Fri, Sat, Live

Hana, 248-8211

244-0852.

Hawaiian. 6-8 p.m.

Paniolo Lounge - Thu-Sun, Live music. 6:30-

Main Street Bistro - Th-Fri, Rhythm & Blues

■ SHERATON MAUI HOTEL

9:30 p.m.

with Freedom. 5-7:30 p.m.. 2051 Main St.,

2605 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0031

Main Dining Room - Thu, Sun, Hula dancing.

Wailuku, 244-6816.

Lagoon Bar - Nightly, Hula dancing during sets.

“TBA”; Sun, Ryan Tanaka & Friends; Mon,Damon;

Sushi Go - Wed, Live music. 4-8 p.m. Queen

Thu, Kulewa; Fri, Ralph and Allan; Sat, Fausto and

Tue, Roy & Friends; Wed, An Den. Late sets 7-9:30

Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744.

Kawaika; Sun; Kulewa; Wed, Nathan and Ralph. All

p.m. 2435 Ka`anapali Parkway, Building P, 667-6636.

Wowee-Maui’s Kava

sets 6-8 p.m. Torchlighting and cliff diving ceremo-

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Mon-Sat, Acoustic

Hawaiian Jazz & Fusion w/ Robbie Ray. 6-9 p.m. Fri,

ny at sunset nightly.

music. All sets 7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapi`ilani

Hawaiian Raggae, 6-9 p.m. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului,

■ THE WESTIN MAUI HOTEL

Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787.

871-1414.

2365 Ka‘anapali Parkway, 667-2525

Moore; Tue, Jazz; . all sets 7:30-10 p.m. Wharf

Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908. Hula Grill - (Early sets) Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat Ernest Pua’a; Sun,Mon, Kawika Lum Ho; Tue, Jarret Roback. Early sets 3-5 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Braddah Brian & Roy; Fri, Brian, Roy & Kawika;. Sat,

32

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Bar

&

Grill- Th,

7:30-8:15 p.m.

Send your listings and photos for the Da Kine Calendar to Kate Bradshaw at calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 244-0446


The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 891-1011

CAFE MARC AUREL 28 N. Market St. Wailuku - 244-0852

Thursday 09/11

Friday 09/12

Saturday 09/13

Sunday 09/14

Monday 09/15– Wednesday 09/17

DJ Blu Sol No cover, 9:30pm

Estee Graham No cover, 10pm

Erin Smith Band No cover, 10pm

Call for details

MON - DJ Blu Sol, 9:30pm; TUE - Kahala & Indo of LAWA, 9:30pm ; WED - Bamboo Blues 9:30pm

Hand Jive Trio No cover

Mojomana No cover

MON - Open Mic w/ Ryan Vice; TUE - Kit Kat Club Cabaret, No cover

Off Tomorrow $7, 10pm

The Grouch $20, 10pm

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/DJ Styles & DJ Jammin J; $10, 10pm

Coyote Ugly $10, 10pm

Gomega No cover, 10 pm

Versatile $7, 10pm

Hawaiian Nights No cover

MON - Yoah Mama, $5, 9:30pm TUE - Kanoa of Gomega, $5; WED - Paia Town Pau Hana, 10pm

JR & da Guys

HWY 30

Salsa $7, 10pm

Monday Night Football

TUE - EL Dogg; WED - High on Fire

Orin & Junior No cover

Dave Carroll No cover

Dave Carroll No cover

Alex C No cover

MON - Erin Smith; TUE - Jazz Night; WED -Howard Ahia, No cover

Kanoa of Gomega No cover, 10pm

The Crunch Pups No cover, 10pm

TUE - Scott Baird/Dart Tournament

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-9668

COMPADRES Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-7189

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema, Lahaina - 667-0908

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

Quiz Night No cover, 8pm

Ultra Fabulous Girly Girlz Diva Show

GIAN DON’S 1445 S. Kihei Rd. - 874-4041

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

WED -Wii Wednesday

Silky Ringo 9pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

Live Music No cover, 9pm

JACQUES 120 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8844

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB 36 Keala Pl., Kihei - 875-7711

Vince Esquire No cover

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE 355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

KIMOS 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

MON - Marty Dread, $10, $5 Kama aina Live Music No cover, 9pm

Live Music No cover, 9pm

DJ El Gato 10pm

DJ CIA No cover, 10pm

Kenny Roberts No cover

Way Back Machine No Cover

Crunch Pups No cover, 10pm

Tom Cherry $5, 10pm

Orrin & Junior No cover, 9-11pm

Sam Ahia

Gina Martinelli No cover

Kahala No cover

TUE - Da Ha-Y-ans; No cover WED - Chico & Da Kine; No cover TUE - Kilohana, No cover; WED - Celtic Music, No cover

MON-WED - Sam Ahia

Company Store

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 2008 • 9 am to 6 pm Come Join Us to Celebrate Maui Coffee! Learn about coffee from field to cup Sample Maui Coffees Meet Maui Coffee Association Growers Coffee Processing demonstrations Live band: The Brews Brothers (aka Booze Bros) • 3 pm to 6 pm Coffee Farm Tour maps available Anniversary Sale! Sept. 20 thru Sept. 27.

Located at 277 Lahainaluna Road - NEXT TO THE SMOKESTACK Call 808.661.2728 for more information!

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

33


Daily Sushi & Sashimi Specials!

Gotta try the Spicy Tuna Tacos!

Best of Maui

WINNER!

“Most Romantic” & “Best Panoramic Views”

744 Front St. • Lahaina • 661- 9090 • www.LahainaStoreGrille.net

SEVEN NEW Hi-Definition FLAT SCREEN TV’s featuring

ALL Your Favorite Sports Programs

744 Front St. • Lahaina • 661- 9090 • www.LahainaStoreGrille.net 34

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY


The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 09/11

Friday 09/12

Saturday 09/13

Sunday 09/14

Monday 09/15– Wednesday 09/17

Rampage 10pm

Seamonster 10pm

No Remorse 10pm

Industry Night 9:30pm

MON - Kanoa of Gomega, 10pm; TUE -$1 Taco Night w/ DJ Razor, 10pm; WED - Crunch Pups, 10pm

Neto Latin Salsa No cover, 9pm

The Willy’s & DJ Malik No cover, 9pm

Shaka Saturdays $10, 10pm

DJ Mike 9pm

DJ Mike 9pm

LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

LONGHI’S 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

MAI TAI LOUNGE 839 Front St., Lahaina - 661-5288

Velvet Decadence No cover, 9pm

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

MON - Hazmatt, No cover, 9:30pm; TUE - Dollar Drink Night, $5, 9pm; WED - Latino Late Night, No Cover, 9pm

The Celtic Tigers

D.U.H./Elise Fashion Show No cover, 10pm

MON - John Feary; TUE - Randall Rospond; WED Willie K $25/$45/$65

Wee D’ono No cover, 10pm

Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

Hazmatt No cover, 10pm

Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

MON - Junior Guys; TUE - I-Chalice; WED - Open Mic; No cover, 10pm

Trike Races 10pm

DJ JammingJ/DJ Styles $5, 10pm

Flavazone $8, 10pm

Karaoke No cover, 9pm

MON - Karaoke No cover, 9pm ; WED - Industry Night w/DJ Skinny Guy, No cover, 10pm

Ladies/80s Night w/DJ Decko; $5, 10pm

DJ Blast $10, 10pm

DJ N8 Castro $10, 10pm

Live Music Until 10pm, No cover

MON-WED - Live Music, Until 10pm, No cover

DJ Slackin No cover, 10pm

DJ Magnetic No cover, 10pm

Kanoa of Gomega No cover, 10pm

MON - DJ Blast; TUE - Astro Boys (DJs); WED - DJ Decka; All no cover, 10pm

Crunch Pups No cover, 10pm

Kenny Roberts No cover, 10pm

DJ Shark in da Water No cover, 10pm

MON - Karaoke, 9:30pm; TUE - New Project, No cover, 10pm; WED - DJ I-Self, No cover, 10pm

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

MULLIGAN’S AT THE WHARF Cinema Center, Lahaina - 661-8881

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-2414

744 Front St., Lahaina - 661-9090

Pole Dancing No cover, 9pm

Gail Swanson

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

OYSTER BAR

ADD Twins No cover, 9pm

MON - Na Hoku, Crazy Fingers; WED - Way Back Wednesdays, 10pm

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

Butcher Bros. $3, 9pm

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

TIP-UPS TAVERN 1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

UNISAN 2102 Vineyard St., Wailuku - 244-4500

WOW-WEE MAUI’S 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului - 871-1414

AN DEN No cover, 10:30pm

Vince Esquire No cover, 10pm

Ohana Groove No cover, 10pm

Karaoke

DJ - 80s, 90s, New Music No cover, 10pm

DJ Z No cover, 10pm

Robbie Ray No cover, 9-10pm

Ekolu & Keola No cover, 9-10pm

Rock Band No cover, 10pm

More than

MON - WED - Karaoke Rock Band No cover, 9-10pm

MON - Monday Night Football

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

35


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MAILING 33 N. Market St. Ste. 201 Wailuku, HI 96793

DROP OFF 33 N. Market St. Ste. 201, W ailuku 36

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY


CLASSIFIED

LOCAL ADS

ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE From Home. *Medical, *Business, *Paralegal, *Computers, *Criminal until ALOHA VALUED READERS 10% DISCOUNT ON Sept Justice. Job placement assistance. PARTS & LABOR 30th, 2008 Computer available. Financial Aid if We would like to let our readers that we try to screen most of BMW/ MINI • VOLVO qualified. Call 866-858-2121 know our ads. We read back the ad copy www.CenturaOnline.com MERCEDES • VW / AUDI to ensure that it is the correct inforDIESEL • BIODIESEL • HYBRIDS mation that advertisers want. If MEDIA MAKE-UP ARTISTS SERVICE you see the acronym (AAN CAN) Earn up to $500/day for television, PARTS that ad is a national ad and was not CD/videos, film, fashion. One week ACCESSORIES submitted directly to us. If you course in Los Angeles while building FREE MINI-DETAIL WITH LARGE SERVICE have a question directly concern(#RD 3881) portfolio. Brochure 310-364-0665 ing AAN CAN, please check out http://www.MediaMakeupArtists.co aancan.org m (AAN CAN)

AUTOMOTIVE

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ISLAND WIDE SERVICE AMERICAN • ASIAN • CARS • SUVS • TRUCKS 3135 Lower Kula Road • Behind Kula Hardware

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

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YOUR CLASSIFIED AD printed in more than 100 alternative papers like this one for just $1,200.00! To run your ad in papers with a total circulation exceeding 6 million copies per week, call the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies at 808-264-8039. No adult ads. (AAN CAN)

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BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

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FOR SALE

Have a Party and Learn Something New! Fun and easy making photo slide show with music on DVD for great gifts & keepsakes! We bring everything. ezPhotoStory.com 8794605

DISTRESS SALE Lowest priced 2bd/1.5ba condo in Southpointe, Kihei. Bamboo floors and marble floors, Granite bathroom countertops, new designer fans and lighting. Two parking stalls. Only $212,500 Josh Jerman, Broker (808) 283-2222 Century 21 All Islands

APARTMENTS FOR RENT KAHANA VILLAS CONDO FOR RENT Newly remodeled, furnished, ocean view, remodeled with upgrades, available now. Rent reduced to $2400. Quam Properties 665-1315

• Custom Dresses & Gowns • Custom Bridal Gowns • Lingerie • Gown Alterations

Kaanapali Golf Estates 3 bedroom , 2 bath in gated community. Available in October. $4000 + utilities, deposit required. Call 808-276-3177

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OHANA FOR RENT One bedroom cottage at Lahaina’s Baby Beach. $2500 plus electric, completely furnished. Call 667-6968.

REAL ESTATE

Auto Detailer/Porter & Parts KIHEI VILLAGES Manager Top floor 2bed/1.5ba condo with Experienced only, call Paul at ocean views across the street from Pacific Motor Works 878-2698 Maui’s longest beach. Stop paying rent - Invest while the market is $600 WEEKLY POTENTIAL$$$ soft. Pets allowed. Only $239,000 Helping the Government PT. No Josh Jerman, Broker (808) 283Experience, No Selling. 2222 Century 21 All Islands Call: 1-888-213-5225 Ad Code L-5. VOID in Maryland and South CENTRAL MAUI CONDOS Dakota. (AAN CAN) Five 1 and 2 bedroom condos across the street from the blue SPICES RESTAURANT Pacific ocean and walking distance to Maui Community College, the MACC, shopping, and restaurants. Investors, these units rent for •PM Kitchen Staff $1100 - $1250/m. Price from $89,000 to $120,000. Josh Fax 891-8862 or Apply in person at 2259 S. Kihei Rd. Jerman, Broker (808) 283-2222 Century 21 All Islands

HEALTH

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Kihei Air Conditioning SERVICE MAINTENANCE INSTALLATION

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DAKINE CLEANING Top quality and personalized service. Homes, Offices, Condos.

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PLACING AN AD IS EASY! CALL 283-3260

BOOK YOUR LINE OR BOX CLASSIFIED AD TODAY! Call 283-3260 by 4 pm on Monday

CHARGE IT!

to get your ad in Maui Time Weekly!

AD DEADLINE MONDAY 4PM TO ADVERTISE Call 283.3260 FAX NUMBER 808.244.0446 EMAIL brad@mauitime.com WEBSITE www.mauitime.com MAILING 33 N. Market St. Ste. 201 Wailuku, HI 96793 DROP OFF 33 N. Market St. Ste. 201, Wailuku MAUI TIME WEEKLY

SEPTEMBER 18, 2008

37


CAERIEL CRESTIN SIGN.LANGUAGE.ASTROLOGY@GMAIL.COM

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) If I go a day without caffeine, I get a terrible headache. This “harmless” addiction definitely has me in its grip. It’s hard to view something as innocuous as a cup of coffee as a tremendous handicap, but that might just be the case. I’m somewhat incapacitated without it. There’s something in your life that looks an awful lot like this. You’re a mess if you don’t get it, but you don’t regard it as a problem because it’s not traditionally something people consider problematic (as opposed to a heroin addiction, which might raise a few more red flags). Take a second look at it. Does the pleasure of that cup of coffee really outweigh the negative impact of not having it? It may just be time to eliminate its hold on you altogether.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Don’t let your fear of confrontation make things worse for you or anyone else involved. Like it or not, your weirdly comfortable position straddling the fence didn’t work out this time, and you ended up tumbling down on one side of things. Don’t pretend you’re still up there, seeing both sides equally. You’ve got to go ahead and speak your new truth, from down here in the trenches, from your bias, from the side you chose, like it or not. Doing otherwise is not only unfair, it’s dishonest. Besides, there’s a reason you fell in with this side of things and not the other. Spend this week trying to figure out what it is.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Consider a stinging spree. You’ve got the itch to go around and stir up some shit. It’s for the greater good, perhaps. Sometimes a little pain is the only way we can break through to something better, more enlightened, more understanding, more compassionate. However, I would argue that you have so much of this life-enriching (but painful) venom stored up that to deliver it all to one person might be too much. It’s kind of harsh. Instead, I would consider giving small doses to everyone you know. It seems a little weird, but think about it this way: how could a little pain, delivered by you, make someone’s life a whole lot better?

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SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) You’re so good at calming drama queens that you often end up surrounded by them. I know it’s tiring to have to keep putting out fires, but don’t burn out now. Imagine what would happen if you just threw up your hands and said, “That’s it, I’m out.” Disaster! If you do think you need to extricate yourself from the situation, back out slowly. That alone will probably also elicit more drama, but you’d end up at least avoiding the total devastating (and much more histrionic) collapse that’d happen if you made a dramatic exit yourself.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) Right now you’re a plump, juicy summer peach. You’re amazingly delicious and wonderful. But if someone doesn’t take a bite right away, you could very well go soft and past your prime. You won’t be nearly so delicious a month from now if all you do is languish on the branch. Rest assured that there are many, many people who’d be delighted to take a bite of you, so to speak. They just may not know it’s an option. Clue them in. It’d be a shame for people to miss out on what you have to offer just because you were too shy.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) There’s no rush, so stop pushing so hard. Your impatience to get to where you want to go is threatening to capsize the whole ship, and your frantic paddling isn’t directed enough to be effective anyway. I understand your frustration with other people, who are too slow to pick up the oars and choose a direction, but in this case goading them or scolding them won’t do anything but cause further delays. You’ve got to chill out and bite your tongue. That’s bound to be extremely difficult, I know—but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s this week’s test. Failing it will only cause more delays—and sore feelings, to boot.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Don’t freak out if things don’t play out the way you expected. Remember, whenever you’re able to roll with surprises like these, you end up much happier overall. Usually, things turn out better than what you imagined in the first place. For that reason, try not to be too attached to one particular outcome. Have faith that whatever happens will turn out to be the best possible scenario for you, even if its positive aspects aren’t yet obvious. When you can look back on this time, you’ll see just why it worked out the way it did.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Dogs live in the moment. They have memories, of course—they’ll remember if someone hit them or gave them something good to eat. But I doubt they dwell on those memories or let them affect their behavior if that person isn’t standing right in front of them. Can you be more canine this week? I’m worried that you’ll let memories of totally different people negatively influence your reactions to new people coming into your life. It’s not fair to judge or mistrust them based on what happened to you before. Try to forget those things ever happened, and give these guys the blank slate they deserve,

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) This week is all about second, third, maybe even tenth chances. Actually maybe that’s not the best way to phrase it. It’s all about the time someone’s intentions finally “stick,” no matter how often they’ve tried and failed before. If you can actually be open-minded enough to give them the opportunity to make things happen the way they’ve always said they would—this time, against all odds, they may very well do just that. Of course, no one would blame you if you were reluctant to go out on a limb yet again, after they let you down so many times before. In fact, some might call you stupid for trying again. This time, though, it may be worth the risk. If the hopeful part of you says, “Give it another go,” I’d listen.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Don’t be foolish. You might as well decide to go on a three-day trek into the desert without bringing any water, confident that you’ll “find some somewhere.” That’s unrealistically optimistic, and so is what you’re contemplating. I don’t think you need to be horribly cynical or pessimistic here, but go ahead and prepare for the worst-case scenario anyway. I’m 90% sure it won’t happen, but why take the risk? This way your ass is covered no matter what happens. If you bring more water into the desert than you need, you can use it to irrigate a cactus on your way out.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) You can be controlling. Sometimes you get a hold of an idea in your crab claws and you just won’t let go. You’ll do whatever it takes to steer things in the direction you want. What you’re missing is that sometimes it is simply better to just let things unfold. Many times they work out better than what you would have manifested by insisting that everything get done your way. I’m not suggesting you let go of an idea you feel passionate about. All I’m saying is that maybe you should just hang on and see where it takes you, instead of where you can take it.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) What if you could just make a decision to be ten percent louder, faster, stronger, and more effective? Would you do it? Remember, with that much increased visibility and power, your level of responsibility would increase, too. Would you want that? It’s okay to aspire to be more than you are, but be aware of all that comes with it. If you really think about it, it might be more than you want to do. If you do step up and accept the added power, make sure you also accept the responsibility that comes with it, with a whole heart and open eyes. Otherwise you could end up seriously letting people down.

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