“As always, I need you.”
Kim Jonghyun was not a household name by any stretch, but his fanbase was far-reaching from his native South Korea. As lead singer of Korean pop group SHINee, he skyrocketed to fame since the group’s debut in 2008. Just months shy of the group’s milestone 10-year anniversary, Jonghyun took his own life.
While his death rocked the K-pop community both domestically and internationally, he had never been secretive about his struggles with depression. To the casual viewer, and even to his die-hard fans, Jonghyun was the mood-maker: on variety shows, he provided comic relief by way of friendly jabs at his group members or self-depreciating humor. On stage, he captured attention with his power vocals and sharp dance moves. He was beloved for his “eyesmile,” his large eyes crinkling until they were nearly closed as he laughed, mouth agape and teeth sparkling white. But Kim Jonghyun was battling demons that, as it turned out, were much bigger than anyone could imagine.
Kim Jonghyun was born on April 8, 1990, in Seoul, South Korea. He discovered his love for music as a young teen, singing in a gospel choir and performing on the guitar with a band he formed with classmates in high school. When Jonghyun joined S.M. Entertainment, he dropped out of high school in 10th grade to pursue his music career.
He trained for several years at S.M. Entertainment, alongside future group members Lee Jinki, Choi Minho, Lee Taemin, and Kim Kibum. In May 2008, the quintet debuted as SHINee with “Replay,” a pop confection in which the barely legal boys confessed their love to an older girl. They found fame quickly, releasing “Love Like Oxygen” the same year, followed by “Juliette” in 2009.
SHINee fans see “Juliette” as a milestone piece in itself, not because it was the band’s breakout hit but because it marked the first song written by Kim Jonghyun. Early on, Jonghyun had aspirations to not only sing and dance, but to write and produce his own music. As it would turn out, the pop song that Kim Jonghyun published at age 19 would just be the beginning of an illustrious if not tragically short-lived career.
The K-pop industry, especially S.M. Entertainment, is notorious for not giving artists much control over the content of their music or its production. Jonghyun became S.M. Entertainment’s first artist to take on such an active role, effectively turning the tide as other artists across the industry also began to compose and produce their own music. Jonghyun would go on to write seventeen (released) songs for SHINee over the group’s eleven studio albums, at least five for other artists, and wrote most of the songs on his solo albums. Jonghyun took an active role in the studio as well, providing barely-there backing vocals and ad-libs for other artists, featuring in duets, and guiding artists through song production.
Jonghyun released his first solo work in 2015 while still actively promoting with SHINee. Where SHINee was more electro-pop, Jonghyun’s music tended to be more focused on R&B and ballads. In the lyrics of his own music, and in some of those that he gave to other artists such as soloist IU, he wrote candidly about depression. From 2014 to 2017, Jonghyun hosted a nightly radio program called “Blue Night,” where he would not only play songs and interview fellow artists but also muse on mental illness and provide advice to fans who wrote into the show. In this way, Jonghyun was able to show a different side of himself to fans, opening the door into his own mental health and becoming more relatable to listeners.
To those who don’t follow K-pop, the importance of Jonghyun’s outspokenness may be lost. In Korean entertainment, it is largely frowned upon for entertainers to speak on serious topics, as the entertainer’s job is to do just that: entertain. Jonghyun was not the only K-pop star to buck tradition but he was by far the most vocal; he spoke freely about politics, feminism, LGBTQIA+ rights and more in addition to mental health. After his passing, a Korean netizen wrote that although he did not follow Jonghyun’s music career, he knew of him because he always saw Jonghyun’s comments on culture on the internet. Jonghyun was not an ordinary “idol,” as they call Korean pop stars in the nation. He was not just a pretty face with talent, he also had a brain and thoughts he wished to proliferate to the masses whether they agreed or not.
Kim Jonghyun performed two concerts in December 2017. As usual, Jonghyun seemed to be his normal self, putting on a show and singing his heart out. No one knew that these would be the last performances of his life — no one, that is, but himself.
Earlier in the month, Jonghyun wrote what would turn out to be his suicide note (some Korean outlets reported that it was also his will). A few days before the first of the two concerts, he gave it to his close friend, a singer named Nine from a group called Dear Cloud. He instructed Nine to post the letter online in the event of his death, as his final message to the world.
Nine brought the note to the attention of her agency, and was told to keep in close touch with Jonghyun. Later, Nine said she tried to help him but her efforts did not prevent his death, only helped to delay it.
On December 18, eight days after his final performance, Jonghyun rented an apartment in Gangnam, a neighborhood in Seoul. He checked in at noon, visited a nearby convenience store, made a purchase, and went back to the apartment. He sent a series of text messages to his older sister throughout the 4 PM hour, telling her that this was his final goodbye and asking her to tell him that he “did well” and “suffered a lot.” These messages prompted his sister to call the police at 4:42 PM.
The police finally reached him after 6 PM; as he had checked into an apartment that was not his own and he had not told anyone his whereabouts, there was difficulty locating him. He was unconscious and in cardiac arrest, coal briquettes smoldering on a frying pan. He was brought to the hospital, where he was pronounced dead. He was only 27.
Nearly a month on, the shock and grief of Jonghyun’s untimely death hasn’t worn off. In the days following his death, fans turned out in record numbers to visit his memorial at Asan Medical Center’s funeral parlor. Tributes poured in from his contemporaries, who also braved the lenses of news outlets to pay their final respects to the singer. Weekly music broadcasts took time out to honor his memory, as did year-end broadcasts and the Golden Disk Awards, Korea’s answer to the Grammy’s. Soloists IU and Lee Hi, both of which Jonghyun wrote songs for, sang tearfully in tribute. Fans and non-fans alike consumed his music with renewed interest, some picking apart his lyrics for clues to a secret that never truly existed. Grief-stricken fans changed their Twitter profile pictures to a single rose in his honor, display names and biographies emblazoned with some form of “You did well” and other well-wishes.
Many were left wondering what would become of SHINee. The surviving members, who took on the prized role of chief mourners at Jonghyun’s funeral, who traveled the world and enjoyed success with Jonghyun for ten years, were now deeply mourning. Could they continue as four? The possibility was daunting; SHINee had performed as four several times in the past (due to injuries, conflicting schedules, or family issues) but they always came back as five. Now, that was impossible… could anyone, fan or SHINee member, handle seeing four members on stage and being constantly reminded that the fifth member was permanently gone?
In early January, SHINee announced, via handwritten letter, that they would go ahead with their previously scheduled Japan concert dates in February 2018. The decision was made by the members themselves, who said that it is what Jonghyun would have wanted. It will be the first time since Jonghyun’s death that the four remaining members will stand on stage and perform together.
The concerts, planned months before Jonghyun’s death, are titled, almost prophetically, “FROM NOW ON.”
The effects of Jonghyun’s death are sure to be felt for a long time, but what he left behind will help — and have helped — many to heal. For every moment a fan is moved to tears remembering he is no longer among the living, there is a song that he crafted by hand and brought to life with intense vocals. There are photos and videos, three years worth audio of his radio show. Those things will never replace the man himself, but they will serve as a constant reminder that even though he left the world so suddenly, he used his short time on Earth to bestow priceless gifts upon others.
